Thursday, April 3, 2008

Cows at school

So here I am in an "all too quiet", too-big house, with a few minutes to stop before I start my part of the day.  My last child is dropped off at school, everyone delivered or bussed where they belong.  Nowadays, my life is no longer about them,  (except 3:00 pm to about 8:00 am), my life (during the day, at least) is about what I want to fill it with.  It is about prayer group, lunches with friends, getting my toenails done, having my eyebrows waxed, doing precious little laundry (just enough to keep going), NOT cleaning my house, Weight Watchers meetings, volunteering at a church ESL program, scrap-booking, and most of all, thinking about - you guessed it - MY KIDS!!!  I have this compulsive thought running through my head all the time..."What are they doing?" " Are they ok?"  (Even when I know they are.)  I hate to say it, but a lot of the stuff I am doing is to keep me busy and not thinking about them.  For 11 years, they were my life.  So much so, that I had very little time for haircuts, toenails, and friends.  But now I have time for me and I am afraid I am just not enjoying it like I should be.  

I do try to enjoy their new lives.  I enjoy that although my middle school child is not the top of the food chain socially, he is doing well in his academics.  I enjoy that although my 5th grader is struggling in some academic areas, she is enjoying her friends.  I enjoy that my child with PDD is making strides and finding a niche in others' lives outside of his family.  I enjoy that my youngest is finally in his groove (at least mostly).  I enjoy the good reports I hear from the teachers.  I try not to stress about the bad ones.  I am still very involved in their lives, thank God.  They still share with me their fears and hopes and struggles.  They still talk to me and when they talk, I am listening very hard for all the details.  

As far as enjoying my new life, my goal is to start some new projects.  I hope to scrapbook more, do some yard projects that are long overdue, and work some on decorating my house.  These are things I couldn't pursue before.  And, they will benefit my family too.  

Ok, so you are probably wondering about the title.  This is very random, but driving my oldest to school today, there were cows, right next to the school.  They were four young cows quietly grazing on the side of the road that the carpool parents and buses take into the school parking lot.  Bizarre!!  But fun, too.  I wanted to go back and take pictures.  For some reason, I like cows.  They seems sweet, docile and mild.  I am sure I would NOT like them up close, but in my car and them on the side of the road by the school, they added a little to my day.  They gave me a little lagniappe!!!  Thank you, God for the cows.....

4 comments:

ped.doc said...

lagniappe? Haven't heard that term in a long time- you must be from Louisiana or something!

rosegirl said...

I had to correct myself. I have been a mommy solely for almost 17 years. My oldest will be 17 in May, so my life has been about them longer than 11 years, but that is how long I home-schooled.

Rachel said...

Hey, I found your blog. :P

I know what you mean. I think about Kate all the time when I'm away. And I love seeing cows by the side of the road.

kosovacajun said...

Hey, if y'all like seeing cows in random places you really ought to come to Kosova!