On that note, one of my kids had what could only be termed a "VERY BAD DAY" this week. He reacted poorly, the other individuals acted poorly and it all turned into a middle-school "train wreck". We always hear that kids are resilient and they are. I can attest to that. I feel a little bruised. I think if the truth be told, he feels a little bruised, too. But, he made it through and we are still not sure of the consequences of what happened.
The part that angered me and still does is that the teacher involved is still "hell-bent" on what is "fair" and thinking punitively about what happened. I want, for this particular child, not what is "fair", but what is "right", what is "good", what will help him in the long run. I feel that he made decisions with a immature brain and body riddled with hormones and the teacher was somewhat disrespected (but likely more embarrassed) and she wants to "wring it out" of him.
On the other hand, I require respect and obedience and disrespect and disobedience can not be let go. I do feel that after all we have gone through with the principal, he will do what is right. I trust him and his judgement. I wouldn't relish the thought of having to take the teacher's punishment. I think she might be fair, but not do what is right.
Bottom line, I have to make my child see all aspects of this situation. He must understand how the teacher feels, why she did what she did, and that the consequences must be met head-on. He must see that although he acted immaturely, he can and must do better next time. This part is the most hard. I just want to hug him and make him feel better, not tell him that he might be punished and how to not repeat an episode like this.
But, alas, the episode is in the not too distant memory for both of us and although I feel bruised, I too will get over it and move on. I think this is one more thing that makes me feel like I would NEVER (yes that is me yelling) want to repeat this year. I might not feel like my child is ready for high school (too small, too nice) but he IS (yelling again) going to high school next year.