Teacher's Shower

My oldest son who is in 10th grade (but almost 18!!!) has a disability called PDD-NOS (which stands for a mouthful - Pervasive Developmental Delay - Not Otherwise Specified).  He is in a "contained" room most of the school day but leaves for about three periods of the day.  

His teacher is pregnant with her first baby, so I decided she needed a shower - not for the other teachers, but for the kids to be involved) and when the aide told me no one else was doing one, I told her I would do it.  I never dreamed that I would be doing it all by myself.  But, this is not a wah-wah post of how hard it was (although it was hard), this post is to just say that I feel very lucky.  

My child, although delayed and different than all other "typical" kids, is very sweet, good-natured, and well-liked.  His teachers love him and think he is the "bees-knees".  Even strangers find him charming and most adult females all say the same thing, "He's a doll!"  Part of his legacy is very strange to me as he is so different from the typical kid and isn't all that social at home.  He IS social at school and his Speech Path. says he is a "social butterfly".  

From the time of toddlerhood, when we would go out into public (grocery stores, pools, etc.), he was the first of my four to make a friend.  He would always have someone to play with.  However odd he was, others were drawn to him.  He IS very sweet and "non-threatening" and kids are happy for him to be in their lives.  Usually the kids were younger than him and often typical, although he has those who aren't too.  

So this is not so much of a contrast with most of his classmates, but for the ones on the autism spectrum, he is VERY social, loves people, and gets along quite well.  Which makes me think that he is not all that autistic (I guess I knew this all along, but this reinforces that whole knowledge).  He is still very odd and somewhat ritualistic even about the way he moves, walks and talks, but he is much more flexible than most with autism.  

His classmates on the other hand, scream when someone touches them and nonverbal or only slightly verbal.  I also can't help noticing the kids with Down's who are very social (like #1), but with other issues.  I am blessed for him to be as "easy" to parent as he is.  I say "easy" because no kid is particularly easy, but he is not always going around with a chip on his shoulder, always feeling left out (although he is a lot), always angry, never getting along with anyone, and on and on.....

And for the shower, it was FUN!  It was fun to see the teacher's surprise when she saw her mother and two aunts there.  It was fun to be able to give so many a great, enjoyable time.  It was fun to see #1 in his element, joking and laughing with his friends.  It was fun to be a part of his school experience.  And, it was fun to do something for the teacher who does so much for so many.  Teaching, I know is MUCH more than a job...it is a calling...and I was happy to give to her in this way.

My ESL friends

In the process of volunteering at Hunter Street Baptist Church's ESL program, I have bonded with some of the students, of course, but the students in this type of ESL program easily move from one type of life to another. One minute they are just arriving and know no English, the next they are seeking jobs and getting into culture and language even more.  The ones that stay are those with young children or those that work somewhere or time that they can continue to come to classes during the day.  Or the wives of working men that can afford to stay at home.  Anyway, you get the point.  There is quite a bit of coming and going.  And because I am in and out of different classes, I am getting to know a lot of the students, but none "deeply".  But I do love them.  Anyway, this year, the bonding I have done has been more with the teachers.  I got to know the "hostess" who welcomes everyone, tests and places our students, and organizes a lot of other things like copies, snacks, etc.  She is very sweet and fun.  I have also gotten to know the "coordinator" who was a missionary and school music teacher, loves music and is a whiz at teaching, and organizing all the classes (finds teachers and substitutes).  She is also the leader at "break time" when we sing sweet funny songs, spend time with each other, and have snacks. There is the English whiz and former high school teacher who loves grammar and phonics (and the students, of course) and is very gifted in the advanced class.  There is the former kindergarten teacher who loves and nurtures the beginners.  I also can't forget the young Indonesian mommy who helps in every way and every thing.  And also, the "assistant" in the beginner's class who plays with babies, sits patiently beside one older lady helping her understand, and supports in a lot of other ways.  So, you see, these people have really filled my heart with love for themselves and for the students that we teach.  They are special, special people who all have a distinct place to fill.  And, most important for me, they have welcomed me with open arms even though I don't go to church there.  In the beginning, many thought I did.  They would say stuff about Sunday morning as if I was there.  However, now that they know I don't, they are still ready to accept me for who I am.  They are loving, kind, encouraging, complementary, and full of the Lord.  I so appreciate them.  And I appreciate the fire God has lit in my heart for internationals, for you see, I now know what I want to do "when I grow up".  I want to teach ESL.  I want to be a part of peoples lives who were not born here, but chose to be here.  I am sure there are things they don't like about our country, but they have a innocent, fresh perspective.  And I enjoy learning to see things from someone else's eyes.  So, thank you to the people who make ESL at HSBC a great place to love, learn, and build friendships!  And, as a side note, thank you to my sister who encouraged me to get involved in an ESL program.  

Teacher Conferences

I had a conference with #3s teachers yesterday.  It is very hard to describe the emotion I felt leaving the meeting.  The tears wanted to pour out of my eyes, but I held them back relishing the euphoric feeling that was coursing through my body.  She is doing well!!  She is achieving beyond what I could have wished for.  She is amazing me and those who worked with her before.  And all of this is so "out-of-character" for her. 

To know how big this is for me, you have to know the background.  This is a child that seemed to have a moderate learning disability that was almost across the board.  The majority of her issues were in the areas of written expression, but she tested for learning disabilities also in math and reading.   Not only that, but there were some behavior issues that I didn't think she would overcome easily.  I thought we would always be afraid of how she was going to handle the next difficult thing that came her way.  Because of how she reacted to certain things in the past, we (teachers, husband and I) tried very hard not to rock the boat.  We tried to assess whether we could ask more of her.  We were careful that she not be asked to "carry" too much. But, she is amazing me beyond belief with what she has been able to handle this year:  rotating schedule, two lockers and combinations, seven teachers, keeping up with large amounts of homework, etc.  And, she is HAPPY!!  

I am blown away by God's faithfulness to me in caring for my child.  I don't know if it is anything short of a miracle!!!  Her reading, which at the end of last year was on a sixth-grade level, is now, in vocabulary and comprehension, post high school!!! Over the summer, she read voraciously and the best we could count, read about 20 books!!  The books that she found very difficult during the school year last year were her "bread and butter" reading material during the latter part of the summer and now!!  These are books she is "plowing" through quickly as we speak.  

So, we are moving her into advanced reading (this for a child who didn't read until 3rd grade), and out of academic support (her elective where she gets help with homework) into a regular elective track where she will get to try the classes that the other kids are trying.  Bottom line:  she will get to have fun!!  

She has also signed up for three clubs: scrapbooking, First Priority (a Christian club), and crochet/knitting.  This was the child who didn't want to do anything extra last year!!!  And despite the fact that she is "NOT!!!  sporty" (her words), she is enjoying P.E. and having fun with it.  To what do I attribute this success?  Her finding the right combination of teachers, support at school, and help at home.  And the hand of God in an awesome way to help her put all those pieces together in a way that cannot be explained by any other means.  

Thanks God, for overwhelming me with your kindness.  Words truly cannot express what I feel.  I feel very small and worrisome and yet, you care about those things.  You are loving me in a way that is beyond my expectations.  I am not saying that there won't be further trials with this child, but you will help us through until we see the light at the end.  Thanks God.  Thanks.

I called the conference a couple of weeks ago because she was not happy: complaining, frustrated, and sad.  I asked her to write down the things she didn't like about school in order of how bad they were. Here is her list: 

                             1. Science is all in groups 

                             2. Too much homework

                             3. Girls are mean

                             4. I have no friends in school except for a few.

                             5. Academic support is boring

                             6. U.S. Studies - too many quizzes

                             7. P.E. is hard because I'm not!!! sporty.

                             8. Language Arts is hard because of writing.

                             9. I hate Math!

Lots of these things have not changed, but she is handling them.  She is dealing with school and doing much better about everything.  Her "case manager" asked me to have her list 10 things she likes about school.  So, we were walking one day and I asked her about doing that.  She said that she didn't know if she could come up with 9, but she knew 7 right away.  Her seven were her teachers!!  She is willing to put up with the things she can't change because she is "feeling the love" from her teachers.  She is "clicking" with them and they with her.  Again, thanks be to God!!

Sad, but grateful

So, this is our first time to say "good-bye" to teachers - goodbye to those who have been such an integral part of our lives for 9 months.  I am very sad to think that these special people might exit our lives and we might never see them again.  I am very grateful to them for the year of teaching and caring and filling my kids lives and minds.  I feel huge amounts of gratitude for them and their love for their students and their craft.  I am in awe of them and their ability to do this year after year with small pay and little thanks.  

I remember when I would go back "home" and shop at this one store, I would sometimes see my first grade teacher "Mrs. Japp" (one of only two really GREAT teachers that I had) and I would love talking to her as an adult and remember that she liked me, was nice to me, and took an interest in me.  

Will it be like that for my kids?  Will they see their teachers one day and connect with them and remember what they did for them?  I hope so.  I hope that we see them around town.  I hope we can keep a little line of communication going.  I hope that those four really special people in our lives - for #1 - Ms. B, for #2 - many but especially Mrs. H, for #3 Mrs. V and for #4 Mrs. S - know how much they helped us, how much they inspired, and how much they encouraged them each to do their best, shine their brightest, and achieve what they could.  I love them for it!!!

And for next year, I look forward to meeting some other special people and getting the chance to get to know others.  I am only hoping that there are other teachers out there who care like these did and want to be a source of encouragement to my kids.  

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!  It can never be said enough.....

Field Day

So Friday was field day.  Now field day when we were growing up was three-legged races, relays, "Red Rover", and other simple minimal games.  Field day nowadays has gone fancy - complete with blow-ups (otherwise called moonwalks, obstacles course and wind tunnels), chalk and face painting, jazz band from the high school, DJ and dancing, Karate instruction, oh yeah, and soccer, playground time, and other more simple activities.  

I had a good time, though.  I loved seeing my two younger kids interacting with their friends or just playing the games, watching them dance the little dances they had learned, and I enjoyed talking to the teachers and other staff.  It was fun to see the teachers having a good time, too.  

Being with my kids at school means I see a whole 'nother side to them.  I sometimes am in wonder of their adjustment to this world that I am basically not a part of.  They are interacting with kids they only met this year, but acting like they have grown up together. 

My girl's teacher had invited the parents and I am glad she did.  I had a good time and I felt that I was the one who got the education that day.  I learned a little more about the world of my kids.  

#3 is not a problem at school.  I always knew that but she is happy, going with the flow, staying out of the limelight and flying under the radar.  She has friends, but they are not "joined at the hip" like some girls her age.  She is not like at home when every negative thing has the potential to send her into orbit.  She more easily lets things go.  

#4 is finally VERY comfortable, and for him comfort is being a leader, bossing (sometimes), telling others what to do.  He is friends with his previous "archenemy".  He has backed off on the one friend who was his one and only friend exclusive friend in the beginning of the year.  He has branched out and integrated.  He still says he doesn't like school, but I have my doubts that this is really true.  I think he is enjoying it more than he lets on.   I see him having fun.  I think he has experienced some social success and is proud of that.  There have been so many "bumps" along the way for him and the journey is not over, but he is flying more smoothly.  

The school itself is a good place for them, right now.  I feel comfortable with my decision to send them to school.  At times, the "upkeep" (homework, studying, reading logs, etc.) seems more even than doing it all myself, but their experiences are more broad, more balanced with academics and friends.  We were very lonely before school.  We have integrated more into the community where we live, and that has been a good thing.  I know more people and feel more comfortable with living here.  So, this has made the move better, and after almost three years here, I am more at home.

Top Ten Things I Dislike About School

10. School smells and school germs

9.  Lots of crowd control (necessary, but still not my favorite thing)

8. Homework

7. Lots of little things that take time away from learning and don't help educate

6. Tasks that leave little room for a child's individuality

5. Kids that cause problems for the teachers and other kids (and their parents who don't care or try to do anything about it at home)

4. That school consumes the majority of the child's day and daylight hours, energy and drive to learn

3. Standardized testing - just too much of it!!!

2. IEP meetings (a big part of my school experience with one LD child and one child with PDD and I really, really dislike them)

1. The whole school experience is not conducive to an exceptional family/home life (basically boils down to not enough time with my kids to do what I feel called to do - share my faith, disciple them, go on outings, read to them, and countless other things)

Top Ten Things I Like About Our School

10. Creative projects done AT school

9. Art class

8. Music class

7. Recess - where kids play outside and get dirty

6. Administrators who smile at the children (and parents)

5. Education that is somewhat tailored to each child and their needs

4. Staff who are there to help, not to simply enforce rules

3. Teachers who see parents as a vital member of the education team ( for me - someone to share that responsibility with)

2.Teachers who are creative, skilled, and wise

1. Educators who are kind and loving