Rosegirl

Update....long overdue.....

2011-01-22T04:37:00.001-08:00

Ok, my friends, it has been a very long time since I have been on here. I have excuses...like my kids were having struggles and I had gotten very intense about helping them and sad about what we were going through and frankly didn't want to broadcast these teenage years for all to see.

#1 is doing great! He is enjoying school, his new room downstairs, his time at the Hoover Rec....his life EXCEPT, he is not all that respected by the other kids in our household. That must feel pretty crappy at times. He is so sweet and congenial and does just what I ask him to. I am hoping that he can get a job in the next few months and branch out a little.

Now for the painful part, #2 had been diagnosed with mild ADHD (inattentive) last year, but we never really treated it. I finally started to feel that he might be depressed about 2 years ago, but wasn't able to get the pediatrician to agree. It got worse, summer (last year) he was very quiet and didn't leave the house or make plans at all. That was ok with me, but he just wasn't LIVING. Finally I took him to a Psychiatrist and we got him on meds. He is finally after about 6 months on meds (about 20 changes along the way), better. He is still not living to his potential, but he is doing homework, and for the most part, participating in the family (not always in a positive way, but that's another story). He is apparently very talented with music (just won't practice to progress), and as we knew all along, very smart (but doesn't work hard with academics).

Because I was concerned about #3 also (just didn't seem happy), I took her along to "Josiah's" doctor. All of her symptoms turned out to be due to an anxiety disorder (NOS - that means not a specific anxiety disorder) and she is on meds also. She is doing much better, but still has ups and downs. During the summer, she started to get very serious with her art. She did one little class with colored pencils producing a really awesome polar bear picture (above), but mostly honed her "clay craft". She got a clay oven and a few tools and worked every day with clay making random little creatures. I am hoping for her to try other materials, but she is enjoying art in school right now. Her academics are so good right now and she has grown so much in every area. She got taken off her IEP and is on or above grade level (mostly above) in every academic area. She works so hard with her schoolwork and doesn't like to get less than an A. She made all As except for Science (not her favorite class right now) on her semester report card. She also got accepted into National Junior Honor Society. She is beautiful as well. Her eyes are so dark and pretty....we all know that didn't come from me. We are still working on getting her to be more social. She is speaking up more at school and church, and making friends more easily. She is warming up to others some....still a struggle.

#4....where do I begin....he just turned 12 yesterday.....I am so scared to have 4 teens (or basically). He is very teenagery in his moods, but because of his struggles with disorganization, etc., we finally put him back on ADHD meds. He is so severe inattentive and can't make himself focus for ANY of the school day....the meds have helped tremendously with his work. His teachers love him - he has so much personality- and this helps. They are realizing now (with meds) how super-smart he is and how much he can do if he is "on task". Of course, the meds contribute some to the teenagery mood, but there is no great gain without some small loss. He is slimming up and growing (a little - still the shortest person in the school). He is the one of our four who is truly a friendly soul and loves to be with people. He does well with adults and younger kids, though probably better than his own age. He loves being a leader which doesn't seem to happen at school, though. I am not sure why.

Kevin continues to be very busy with work. It is going ok, I think....he doesn't talk about it much. We had the annual office party for his team. It turned out very good and he was very helpful with me being so stressed....he did trays, helped in a million ways...he is such a good guy, sweet and kind, my best friend and a very fun lover!

I am still volunteering a lot with Bumpus Library (middle school), band uniforms, ESL at Hunter Street, I love all these and can't seem to give up one of them. I am home on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays and that is enough for me. My friends keep me busy with lunch out and scrapbooking. I am desiring to get started on quilting. A friend from scrapbooking will help me get started. If I can find a sewing outlet, I will be so happy...I miss my fabric stuff....

The family is growing, changing and I am philosophically figuring out that maybe the Keeters' struggles are from the fact that we are not "born and bred" public school material. I am rethinking my decisions to put them in school. It was very good for me....I found a good friend group and activities I love.....but I need to think about what is best for them. We will be in prayer about where and when to send them elsewhere. I want a full life for them.....that is my goal. I am hoping to figure this out with God's help. Please pray with me about this.....

Missing my blog!

2009-10-28T13:29:00.000-07:00

I miss blogging....even now when I feel I have nothing to say, I just have to say I miss the outlet of my blog. My kids are fine, even better than fine, they are great!

#1 is doing his thing in more remedial classes instead of the contained room most of the day. He is also riding horses at a therapeutic riding center. One day, he didn't get to ride because of rain and he was disappointed, but said, "Well, we can look around anyway."

#2 is busy, busy, busy with lots of band stuff! He was also involved in a robotics challenge that UAB puts on called the BEST competition. He was going into school early AND staying late every night but Wednesday nights for band....things were so busy, we almost forgot about academics! He didn't do so well in at least one of his classes, but we are working on bringing that back into focus. He enjoyed so much the robotics stuff and looks forward to doing that next year, but that is over for the year, thank goodness. The band thing goes on and on and keeps me almost as busy with uniforms once a week and chaperoning their games and trips at least once a week and often twice. That hopefully is winding down as football season enters post-season playoff games. This week is Homecoming and he wasn't interested in asking anyone to the dance, and although his friend asked a couple of girls for him, they already had dates.

Hoover's band is very good and works very hard, so everything they do is intense! They had special procedures for most everything they do! They host a huge marching festival every year at Regions Park that is wonderful. But with all of this activity in our family, right now we are feeling a little drained and overloaded. I, in particular, look forward to things quieting down a little and a few family nights and date nights thrown in there. He is having fun, though, which is something we didn't have much of last year.

#3 is continuing to thrive at school in her little zone. She desires not to be involved in very much at all and likes staying "low-key". She is making very good grades and is holding her own with friends and making some new ones. She continues to be the friend of a lot of little Indian girls at her school. I still find this so unusual, but they are sweet, unworldly (for the most part), girls from more strict, strong families. I can only suspect this is the reason. She clicks with them and I am fine with that. She does have some "American" friends, mostly those who march slightly to a different beat. They are not "run-of-the-mill" teenagers.....maybe a good thing! She continues to have trouble bonding with girls at church. She has a good relationship with our female youth leader, but the friendship of others at church pretty much eludes her. Also, she doesn't have the need for people as much as someone like me does (again, maybe a good thing).

#4 is doing moderately well in school, except for his being stubborn and wanting to do things his way. He is very smart and creative with many gifts that elude most people. However, he continues to have difficulty with getting thoughts on paper (and he has lots of thoughts, let me tell you). Spelling continues to be a problem for him and he is letting that keep him from expressing himself. I know, lots of you would have suggestions for this, but we have tried them all.....

Church has been a little bit of a "bummer" lately as my good friend at church (the one that taught me about the inside of a gym) has left, and my favorite pastors have gone back to their home church. I will miss these people so much, but both of them have "spoken into" my life in such a wonderful way, that I will hold their memories dear. I grieve, but will heal. I know that both of these are doing what God asked them to do. My church will go on and I will meet and bond with others. Here, for some reason, has been the hardest place for me to find people to bond with Is it me? Is it something inherently wrong with me? I have such good friends everywhere I go except church. That makes me very sad. In every other place we have lived in, my church was my life, but here it is not. My life is very much outside of my church. Maybe God can change that.

As always a bright spot in my life is my marriage. "Darling husband" is so helpful and loving and kind to allow me to pursue my wishes and dreams. I thank God for his willing spirit to help me and the kids so much while continuing a challenging job. I fear I ask too much of him at times...

I LOVE Mushrooms!!!

2009-09-28T12:39:00.001-07:00

For some weird reason, I am truly obsessed with mushrooms and photographing them. There is something for me about their snowy white color, their textures (all varied and different) against pretty green grass. I haven't gotten a really great picture yet, but that hasn't stopped me from trying. I will post more later....trust me, I have a LOT!!

2009-09-28T12:21:00.000-07:00

Things are much more manageable this week with me having at least part of two days "off". That means that I don't have volunteering that I feel like I HAVE to do. The kids' bathrooms were a must-do, though and then I really wanted to see friend S. She came over and we ran around a little bit (to Target) but mostly we just talked, at WW meals together, and caught up. I miss her and am desperately feeling like with her stuff and my stuff, we are drifting apart....

Back to the bathrooms....I strongly feel that the kids should clean their own spaces and would love for that to happen, but so far, it has not. They occasionally clean their rooms usually under severe duress, but the bathrooms always wait for "dear old mom"....

When we were homeschooling, there was so much "free time" that I didn't feel the least bit bad making them clean their rooms and even do major chores around the house. Now that they are in school all day, and then have extra-curriculur activities and homework, I almost feel guilty asking them (or in all reality making them) do their chores. I say almost because I do ask, but it still doesn't always get done. I have pleaded, threatened, taken away privileges, taken away allowance, etc. and still their rooms and bathrooms are messy. They just don't care. They are angry when I take things away, but not uncomfortable enough to clean them!! Well, there is some point where the "health department" would be concerned (if they knew enough to come knocking) and that is when I step in and clean. So, almost an entire box of Clorox wipes and lots of bleach (not to mention other cleaners) later, I am satisfied (and the "health department" is kept away for another couple months). Seriously! IT WAS THAT BAD!!!

I am mad, though! Mad enough to tell them that they are either going to pay me to clean their bathrooms or do major chores of mine to make up for it. We will start with them doing the stairs, baseboards and vacuuming my room. Those are things they can do and should! Don't know when this is going to happen, but no "screen time" until they have done it!!

Hopefully they will want to chip in and help more....probably not, though....

2009-09-24T20:33:00.001-07:00

It has been a long time since I have blogged regularly. Things at night are so busy with soccer, homework, picking up #2 from band practice, meetings for school, church, #1s group, and the list goes on and on. The days are not much better. I have been volunteering a lot at the elementary, ESL once a week, band uniforms, etc. My library volunteer gig is taking a back seat to these and I have been slacking on going to the gym. The most difficult thing for me is knowing what to give up. I am feeling a little over-committed. I can't give up Weight Watchers, but I had decided to go back to Ladies Prayer on Tuesdays and that was my regular WW day. So, I was going to switch to Thursdays, but that is the band uniform day (once a week, every week - you wouldn't believe how much work goes into these uniforms). Then I considered going to WW on Wednesdays (it meets very early), but I can't get there with taking #2 in early for Robotics Club.

Speaking of #2, he is over-committed too. He is going early every morning for Robotics and staying late every night for band except Wednesdays and on Wednesdays he does Robotics after school. His homework and classwork are suffering. He has two grades he needs to bring up.

The uniform gig is very time-consuming, but it is "fun" and the ladies have welcomed me with open arms....probably b/c they love having more help! The work is not necessarily hard, but time consuming and sometimes tedious. There are 230 or so uniforms to maintain, clean, swap out between white and black overalls, "chickens" to swap (the little feathers that go on the top of the hats), hat boxes to check....then we all go out for lunch. Some days they go back for more, but like today, I had to "beg off" to go do laundry at home.

This year is difficult with the kids' homework. #4 is taking a very long time each night and his spelling is killing us both. He struggles as usual to get it all down in writing anyway, and with his spelling being so atrocious....it is very hard at times. He is holding his own, but his grades are not wonderful, either.

#3 is doing the best, probably, but she is in the easiest year. She is hanging in there right now with all As and Bs. She had one C but so far has been able to bring it up.

#1 actually has had some homework and a project, so I am looking forward to having him involved more in the family's nightly regimen. He is so bad about hiding out when he doesn't have work to do. He has one class he has so far refused to work in and although his grades are based on participation, he has an 11 average in there. (That is out of 100 by the way!) We are working on getting him to work in there. Of course, it is English.

Why, oh why do all 4 of my children have such difficulty with this area. #2 didn't seem to be as bad until he got in high school. Now, he is struggling in this area, too.

I am worn out mostly, but not sleeping the best in the world. Why am I up right now? I drank tea for lunch and can't sleep. Why did I drink tea? So I could get my work and their work done without getting fatigued. I just traded fatigue for insomnia and the jitters.....

What do I really need? Time with my Father. Time to unwind with someone who really understands. Let me go get that taken care of.....and pray for me that I will be obedient when he tells me what to do and what to say "no" to.

Routine - Sorta

2009-09-02T06:16:00.000-07:00

Things are settling in. School is becoming routine. I still hate the institution of school...not sure why, but it just takes so much out of our family. For us, though, it is a trade-off between taking more out of our family, or more pressure on one family member - me.

I relish the days when the things I have to do from 8-3 are basically what I want to do! I get to go to lunch with my friends, work out, shop if I want to (and can fit it in), and volunteer. I stay very busy, of course!!

The 3-9 or so is not how I would choose to spend my time - HOMEWORK, but it is a necessary "evil". There are also nightly meetings....this is really getting bad. Every night we have extra curricular stuff AND I have a meeting to go to. Sometimes this gets very hectic! Hopefully the school meetings will slow down. Some of that is because I have kids at four schools. That just adds up to more going on.

Band is pretty much all-consuming. He is kept after school four nights a week (one for a game) and I am working concessions, Band Boosters meetings, picking him up from practice, etc. It is a fun way to spend time, though, at least for me. Not sure he is all that "into it" right now.

So, on we plod through the school year. It isn't so bad. I am hoping it will get better. And having a pretty "happy" child is a change from last year. #2 is soooo much better. There are still issues, but he is not being pushed around so much. If I can get all of them to put out more effort on academics, we will be cruising. No one except me really cares about them doing their best. That is really my only complaint.

So far we have avoided the flu. I don't know how long that will last. They all have URIs or something right now, but nothing serious. Thanks, God!

I will blog my trip, I promise. I want to share so much, it is just hard to know how much anyone really cares to read. I will try, though. I do want to share some pictures. Maybe that is a good starting place.

Talk to you later....

Been a LONG time...

2009-08-25T05:57:00.000-07:00

It has been soooo long since I blogged, not sure if I can get back into it. The summer is officially over, the school year has begun, and I am on a treadmill turned up WAY too fast!! I have friends with lots more kids than me, but right now, I can' t imagine handling more after school activities than I am. Josiah has band after school every weekday except Wednesday, Elisabeth and Isaac have piano, Benjamin has social skills group, Isaac has soccer, on and on....and right now are all the parent nights for four different schools...and volunteer opportunities....and Weight Watchers, and church commitments, and working out...never mind the cluttered house that we live with every day!

Whew! I know it will get better. My big setback came in the form of a wonderful mission trip to Peru that encompassed the first five days of school. When I got back, I landed into a pot of boiling water full of commitments and homework and band, band, band.

I will blog later about my mission trip, but let's just say that it was a great experience that I wouldn't take anything for, but it was not great timing for me. On the bright side, the kids did great and Kevin handled everything beautifully.

#3 really shone and became very responsible making supper, helping #4 with homework, and getting him ready for soccer practice. I was VERY proud of her. Not that there won't be bumps in the road, but overall, she is a different child from last year and definitely a different child from the year before. She is more responsible, helpful, kind, loving, and fun!

More about band - #2 ended the summer in band camp every day for two weeks. It was grueling, but amidst the heat, rigor and difficulty, I could see that he was rising to the challenge. He was happier than I had seen him in a long time this summer, and band camp did not squelch that at all! He met new friends, renewed old friendships, and just endured stuff that he had not wanted to endure last year. The band thing is more than we could have imagined as far as time commitment for him and us. There is chaperone training, uniforms to hem, plus just committing every Friday night to games. We are enjoying it, though. He says he will not be able to do band next year, but I think he might decide to. He is feeling the crush of academics and the other things he wants to do like Engineering Academy. Next year, he feels that he has to take Latin II (he is taking I this year), Driver's Ed, Computer Applications (required course), plus his regular load and Engineering Academy is an elective. This will probably mean that he has to take a "zero period" class which makes for a long day. I know if he wants to, he can do it, but he doesn't want to right now.

The classes he is taking are going to get challenging for him, but so far, he is wanting to do well and make good grades. He has not needed any threats or coercion like last year. He just gets home and gets on it. It usually doesn't take him long to get it done, either. He still has time to play video games, Legos and have some family time. It helps that the older two have a whole hour in the morning after the "little ones" get off to hang out. We can use this for study time when he has tests, but for now, he can play a little video games or something fun.

I am still pinching myself that so far he has not been bullied or picked on. His attitude is different and he is handling things differently. He has changed. He is happy. He will still try to convince you that he is not, but we know differently! He is noticing that other people are teased and they are ignoring it. He has a "posse" of people who are in the band to hang out with.

#1 is keeping us on our toes, too. He is feeling his teenaged years a little more every day and feels the need to exert his independence. No wonder! He is 18, after all!! He is still the sweet, gentle lanky guy from last year, but he is wanting his own way more and deciding more and more what is right for him. We are mostly ok with that. I want him to grow up, but I need him to know with that comes responsibility. He is still volunteering at the zoo and having a good time with it. He loves seeing the animals and being around the zoo people. We are still hoping for some employment opportunity there eventually. Who knows?! I do know that it stretches him and gives him something to do that is his own! That is very good for him! He has his chores and his group. I am looking for him to take more initiative with stuff around the house, but that hasn't happened yet. He still waits to be told.

The hardest case for me right now is #4 and his homework issues. He comes home tired of sitting and doing work. Plus, he is very resistant to writing at all (even though it isn't that much of a hardship). So homework with him looms very large in the midst of all the other stuff going on after school hours. I really "earn my keep" getting that done. Last night, #3 and #4 were arguing at the homework table because he was whining and she wanted him to be quiet and I couldn't get him to do his work at all. It ended up with them on the floor doing his homework together...don't know how this happened, but I was cool with it! She has matured so much that she can see that he and I need help! She can step in and manipulate him into doing it. She sometimes helps him too much, but the good thing about her helping him is that it helps her to go over those little math concepts, problem-solving, etc. He listens to her when he won't listen to me. He is also complaining about social issues, but I am pretty sure these will iron themselves out.

Sweet husband and I are fitting in time for each other when we can and trying to keep it sane. I keep telling myself that I will settle in and get reaquainted with my life in the fast lane. I just need time. I am still very fatigued at times from not getting hardly any sleep for about 12 days. It will get better. My body is still recovering. I have been to work out twice since I got home. Hopefully this will help me to recover.

Well, time for me to head to Ladies Prayer. I will blog my trip later.

Summer begins....

2009-06-03T08:04:00.000-07:00

We have so much planned for this summer, I am questioning my sanity! It is becoming increasingly difficult to keep four kids busy, especially since they all have different interests and different needs.

#2 needs to be busy as he will just end up on the video games all day. So, we booked him in a camp pretty much per week. He is doing a musical theatre camp this week and next. The following week he has AP Boot Camp to get ready for his two pre-AP classes he has this year. The following week, he will be in Engineering Camp offered through the local university. Trust me, the kid still finds plenty of time for vegging with games because these camps end at about 2:00 each day. He will also have one camp in July (Lego Robotics) and band activities here and there. He is easily my busiest child this summer, totally by my choice.

#1 will continue volunteering at the zoo throughout the summer at least two days a week. He also has agreed to do a swimming activity through the local Rec Center. It involves swimming laps for an hour and a half twice a week. It is in their therapeutic recreation program and involves people of all ages with disabilities. Hopefully, it will lead to him doing their special needs swim team in the fall. They do meets, retreats, and activities together.

#3 and #4 are the least busy with only piano and advanced swimming lessons. They are very unhappy to do any of this, but they need to get out and meet people. If I don't force involvement on #3, she will lay on the couch and read all day, every day. Not a terrible activity, but not active at all and not interactive (social). #4 would rather be at the pool or on video games all day, but he needs some exercise and stimulation. So, I have come up with a minimum of activity that I think they need to do. #3 has also agreed to go help one of our church's youth leaders with her stuff one day (or a portion of a day) each week. I am also challenging her to have one social activity per week (mall, crafts, have someone over to hang out, etc.) She will also go to one week of youth camp in July. #4 went to three days of church camp, which he enjoyed. He also has one week of camp in July at McWane Science Center called "Cuttin' Up", which involves dissecting things.

So, if you add up all the traveling back and forth to take them to activities, you can see where my time is being spent - on the road! I am already tired of it, but the 1-2 hours I have off every day after all of the running around is done, are very cherished. They are not spent at Wal-mart or the mall. They are spent with my feet up and a good book in my hands (or of course, the computer).....well, that and laundry, housework, and sleep....you get the idea. My days are full.

What is suffering is my exercise. I had built up to about 10 miles on the stationary bike (45 minutes). I don't feel really good at all leaving my kids to go to "work-out". I am hoping to find a friend in my neighborhood to walk with me early in the morning. That will help me tremendously. If not, I might have to go work out very early alone. Not my favorite time if I am going alone, but it will work. And, all of this running around leaves little time to snack a lot.

So, our summer is all mapped out with a wonderful trip to the Rockies coming up and a cherished weekend alone with my wonderful husband at a little lodge about 2 hours away. This weekend away from all the kids has not happened in over 10 years, so that is something I am really anticipating.

The blessings of being out of school of course go on and on. No teasing, no bullies, no homework, no extremely early mornings, little stress.....I do love my kids being around more, too. They are people I enjoy being around. I am cherishing this season in our lives where I am still the only driver and the kids are still dependent on me for transportation. Although it is tiring carting them around, this season will be over soon and they will be on their own. I am seeing how quickly that happens.

It's a Wrap! (Well almost....)

2009-05-18T20:20:00.000-07:00

Except for 3 more exams for #2, the school year is pretty much done. We have almost made it. Let's not celebrate yet, but the kids are pretty much in a celebratory mood.

#1 and #3 did amazingly well! It was truly a great year for #3! She worked hard, came into her own academically, for sure. #4 did pretty good with his academics, but there is always a longing in my heart for him to really show us what he can do. I feel that he is always dallying around (so-to-speak) and not really putting forth much effort.

For #2, though, we are celebrating that he doesn't have to enter a painful place called "middle school" ever again. He has been in pain much of the year and struggled not to let it ruin his grades as well. He made a really good friend this year, but other than that, we were just glad that the year is almost over. Since this is the kid who can normally listen in class, not study much at all, and make a B on a test, I look for him to not have too much trouble with the last 3 exams. However, his heart is not in it. He is already "checked out" of school. I am hoping for a "healing" summer. I am hoping for him to find again what brings him joy. I am hoping that he will enjoy new pursuits like theatre and engineering through the camps he is enrolled in. I am also hoping for a love of band to be kindled through building relationships with those in the group. I am hoping for a banner year. I am hoping most of all for him to feel free of the bonds of middle school. I know that if he can get over this year and have a good year next year, he can do most anything! He is very bright, sweet, kind, and sincere. I don't think those at his school have seen the child I know or appreciated the gifts he has. My heart is grieved about this, but there is hope. God has given me hope for a better future - a future with #2 fulfilling his potential.

"In everything give thanks for this is the will of God, in Christ Jesus, concerning you." So God, I thank you for the trials we went through knowing (or at least hoping) that you will work them out for our good. I love that you have the power to do that in our lives. I rest in that assurance. My hope is in you, dear, loving, Father. My hope is in you!

My Favorite Three Places to Work

2009-05-07T19:01:00.000-07:00

My life, at least right now, is made up of a lot of volunteer opportunities and parenting my kids. It seems that this is a lot lately, though and has me busy every day. I have many things that I will volunteer for, but the 3 favorites are: 1) Teaching young girls at church 2) Working with the people at ESL classes and 3) Working in the middle school library.

I have to say, in all three of these, of course, the "draw" is the people. I could care less about teaching a curriculum, even one based on the Bible without those little connections with my students.

In the library, getting to talk to the librarian and librarian assistant is often a high point in my week. Not only do I get to talk to them, but my #2s friends all work in there, so every time I volunteer, I get to see his friends. Strangely, my two middle-schoolers don't use the school library, so I never get to see them (maybe it is because I buy them too many of the books they want - yes, it is a almost a disease how many we buy). Anyway, I have gotten to know these friends better and have been encouraged by this interaction.

The librarian herself is funny, sweet, intelligent and loves books. What better friend for me than that! It also helps me to feel that on this somewhat difficult and hostile campus (especially for #2), I have allies. I have people there that know me and through me, know my kids. These two ladies have listened to me about a lot of stuff that has happened with my children. They have encouraged me and helped me in so many ways. The work itself, well, it is hard sometimes, taxing, tedious, but I feel like I have made progress when I leave. The shelves are straighter and more in order. And, I joke that I am "making friends" with the nonfiction - the most difficult area in the library. Not only that, but this little window is almost a workout in and of itself. I feel completely worn out when I leave. Just think, I am lifting weights, pulling and pushing weights, kneeling and standing over and over...you get the idea.

Of course, the reason I volunteer is to make the world a better place, hopefully, but I get so much out of it myself. I get uplifted, encouraged, and learn so much. I feel that one benefit of putting the children in school is that we are so much more integrated into the community and have met so many interesting people. I wouldn't take anything for the friends (and acquaintances) I have made through the school and community connections we have made.

Winding Down

2009-05-05T18:49:00.000-07:00

The ending of school is different for my four kids. The oldest and youngest have parties, fun stuff and interesting things to do. For the middle two, it is a little more complicated. #2 has final exams up through the very last day of school, and major projects that are coming due. #3 still has classes as normal and normal homework. We are making it, though. I am sure going to be glad when it is all done. #2s project for his L.A. class is an illustrated children's book complete with original illustrations. He did a very good job on the drawings. I would have been FREAKING over this project as I can't draw.

Funny that my kids are so much more artsy than I was. Maybe it was because they had all those homeschooling years to practice their creativity. Three of my kids draw very well and two of them are pretty much "global" learners. By that I mean that they are good at auditory skills and visual skills. Both of these kids are also science-y and math-y and great artists! I find this an amazing combination. Maybe that is the engineering gene that Kevin has, or is that an architectural gene....not sure.

Anyway, I will post more art-work later. #2 is usually pretty mechanical in his drawing, #3 is more soft curves and animal or fantasy drawings, #4 is very much into the cartoon thing with "CRASH" and "BOOM" peppering his drawings.

Back to the school thing, we will make it and each day we get closer to the end. It will end none too soon for #2. This is quite probably the hardest school year he will have, at least from the social standpoint. I keep hearing this from everyone and I pray it is true. He is pretty negative about himself right now. I have to keep working on his self-esteem....and it is hard work.

Along with the frustration of how #2s peers see and treat him is the affirmation that he gets from adults. The adults around us, find him charming, handsome and interesting. I have to believe that it will all come out in the wash. He is all those things and more. I have to hope for the gifts he has to help him find his way. God has blessed him and has His hand on him. I know that, without a doubt!

Special Olympics

2009-05-01T12:34:00.000-07:00

2009-05-01T12:27:00.000-07:00

These are random pictures that I wanted to share: #1 all dressed up for the Special Needs Prom, younger three and Kevin at the Maronite church - site of the Lebanese festival. The third one, #2 took because he thought it was so neat to see Kevin and I with our matching laptops....

I Can't Help it!

2009-04-30T18:53:00.001-07:00

This is a picture of my friend's baby taken on Kevin's iphone. We were just hanging out with the "Subject to Change" Cadre (middle schoolers) from our church near our house at the creek. This picture was not staged and as the three of us ladies sat there admiring her, we couldn't stand not photographing her. She is so photogenic, but alas, doesn't like to get pictures made. Isn't she sweet! My friend won't care, I hope....

We had a grand time with this group! They are so random, fun, caring, and...well, at times, even odd. But, we love them! They are like my middle two's little family within the youth group.

There were a few VSMs (Very Special Moments) like seeing three little girls (6th graders) innocently holding hands as we walked to the creek, cooking s'mores on the firepit, watching a movie with them in the basement, picking wildflowers along the path, wading and catching crawfish with R.'s very stinky sock, having every kid around wet from knees down (at the very least), and, in general just spending the afternoon and evening together.

Eyes Full of Tears...Please Read!

2009-04-24T05:11:00.000-07:00

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/04/23/bullying.suicide/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

Please read and if you know this is going on in someone's life around you, PLEASE INTERVENE!!

On Contract

2009-04-23T05:35:00.000-07:00

Kids, it seems, however much they like to think they are in control, really want structure that you provide. I had always heard this, and knew it was true of much younger children, but until recently, didn't realize it works for teens as well. My daughter, although a good kid and very quiet, was becoming more and more belligerent and quarrelsome about the things I wanted her to do. These things weren't unreasonable, like cleaning her room (not to perfection, of course), going to church, exercising, and getting out socially (she would rather sit in her room and read over all other activities). It had gotten to the point where we were struggling to get her to do ANY thing that she didn't want to do....anything that wasn't laying around reading. Over the course of a few weeks, it got bad and then went from bad to worse. I knew we had to put a stop to it, but was clueless as to how.

After one particularly bad episode, I decided that she was allowed to "rule her own world" way too much and was thus put into a tailspin when we asked her to do something (anything). So, after much thought, I decided that she needed some structure and help with this. I told her that she was NOT to lock her door except when dressing (we really intended to take the lock off, but didn't). She also was NOT allowed to spend more than two hours in her room alone a day.

You see, previously, she was going up to her room, locking her door, and not coming down at all except to eat supper and that at times was a struggle. We couldn't tell her goodnight or tuck her in unless she so chose. Often, when we would knock, she would say, "Not now, I am busy." How infuriating that was for us. Of course, we could make her open up (or unlock it with our secret parent keys) and then we would talk to her about her behavior, but she went right back to it. So, we made this contract and told her if she violated it, she would begin to lose her stuff in her room - her books, her "toys", her art supplies, etc. I wrote up a contract and had her sign it.

The thing is, it worked like a charm!! She has not fought us on the church thing even one time since then, she has been enjoying me going up to lay down with her at night and tuck her in, she follows the rule about not locking most of the time and when I find it locked for no apparent reason, she gladly remembers our rule and lets us in. Not only that, in the last week, she has cleaned up her room very nicely (previously it was a health concern it was so bad), and yesterday, she decided she needed to go practice basketball and asked me to come help her practice (exercise)!! This has been the hardest thing for me to tackle. I know my kids need more physical activity, but with homework and extra reading, it has been hard to get them to do it. And add onto that the fact that they are not athletic so they don't have a sport they enjoy.

Anyway, she is so much happier, I am a part of her life now, and she is not spending all that time alone. She still finds plenty of time to read and do art, but often she involves us more in her projects. She also tells me about her day while I am laying down next to her. I play with her hair and try not to fall asleep. Things aren't perfect, but they are so much better that it is like it is not even the same child.

Bottom line, I believe that kids and even teens, can NOT be allowed to rule their own lives. They needs us. And, of course we need them. In my mind, one reason we, as Christians have kids is to be involved in their lives so much that discipleship takes place. And without the time together, we can't disciple them. I feel that at 13 (and newly that), she still needs guidance. She will not make the best decisions if left totally on her own. I am hoping that this deepens our relationship. I am hoping for a rich, deep relationship when she is going through the more difficult years to come. And one day, when she does achieve independence, I am hoping for a rich deep relationship that grows stronger from sharing our lives together. I am hoping for the best!!

Easter Sunday

2009-04-13T08:10:00.000-07:00

Exercise- Wah, Wah, Wah....

2009-04-13T07:20:00.000-07:00

I have been on this quest for fitness as I have shared before. One problem....I am not feeling better....I am very tired all the time. So tired that I feel like about a third of the time I could lie down almost anywhere and fall asleep. So, I am trying to keep myself better hydrated. I am hoping that not drinking enough water is really the problem.

Yesterday, I wanted to get the kids out and so we picked up some food from the grocery store and headed to the park. On the way there, I got very sleepy and fatigued. When we had eaten, I should have walked around and played with the kids....instead, I wanted to lie down on a blanket and fall asleep. Is this me getting old? I don't feel old, except for the fatigue and the endless aches and pains from tennis elbow, knees, etc. This has to get better....

Today, I am going to try a spinning class with my friend and workout partner, R. She has been pushing me from day one. I am somewhat along for the ride, but I do enjoy her spirit and enthusiasm. And I am on a mission to change her eating habits. So, maybe we can influence each other.

So last week, we rode 8+ miles on a stationary bike two days in a row, and then Friday we did a step aerobics class. I could NOT keep up with the teacher. I couldn't see her well, couldn't hear her at all and I am very uncoordinated, so keeping up was a challenge. I finally gave up for a long period in the middle and just stepped on and off the steps. She would do some new thing twice and then move on...so I was just getting it and she was on something else. The rest of the class was doing all this fancy footwork and neat routines. A couple of times I just started to tear up and I fought back the tears and kept on....it was tough. I was relieved when she asked us to run three laps around the gym!! That I could do!!!! And I felt that I couldn't leave and leave my steps out there and I really wanted to finish the class. This was almost tougher the first two or three times at tennis.

This will get better. I will keep myself hydrated and find something that fits me. I am going to conquer this. Thanks for "listening".

A Day in the Life

2009-04-09T18:22:00.000-07:00

Tonight was the parent night for my 8th grader's hall. I drug him kicking and screaming to the event. It was REALLY fun and I saw the teachers in a whole new light!! I might actually like them now! We made "illuminated manuscripts" complete with Latin text, solved math problems that were based on Medieval times, saw their pop-up books that they made about life in Medieval times (yes, this is 8th grade!), endured the torture chamber, and deciphered a Medieval contract. Each activity we got correct, we were given 10 farthings. The farthings go to extra points and we earned all we could earn!! At the end of the meeting, we got to leave input or constructive criticism for the teachers. Mine was that they "encourage their students more". When we were leaving, I turned to #2 and asked him if he was glad he went and he said he was! He had a great time!! He is struggling, but I saw teachers and students affirm him tonight!! I asked him which pop-up was his and the other student said, "It's the coolest one!" And one of the teachers said he was smart in an off-hand way. Bonus: I think there might be a girl that has been flirting with him and he is completely clueless!!!

On the down side, he is fighting homework with all he has and is being a complete pill about it. The day after testing ends, they pile on the homework as if to make up for the last two weeks when they couldn't give it out.

Teacher's Shower

2009-04-09T14:46:00.001-07:00

My oldest son who is in 10th grade (but almost 18!!!) has a disability called PDD-NOS (which stands for a mouthful - Pervasive Developmental Delay - Not Otherwise Specified). He is in a "contained" room most of the school day but leaves for about three periods of the day.

His teacher is pregnant with her first baby, so I decided she needed a shower - not for the other teachers, but for the kids to be involved) and when the aide told me no one else was doing one, I told her I would do it. I never dreamed that I would be doing it all by myself. But, this is not a wah-wah post of how hard it was (although it was hard), this post is to just say that I feel very lucky.

My child, although delayed and different than all other "typical" kids, is very sweet, good-natured, and well-liked. His teachers love him and think he is the "bees-knees". Even strangers find him charming and most adult females all say the same thing, "He's a doll!" Part of his legacy is very strange to me as he is so different from the typical kid and isn't all that social at home. He IS social at school and his Speech Path. says he is a "social butterfly".

From the time of toddlerhood, when we would go out into public (grocery stores, pools, etc.), he was the first of my four to make a friend. He would always have someone to play with. However odd he was, others were drawn to him. He IS very sweet and "non-threatening" and kids are happy for him to be in their lives. Usually the kids were younger than him and often typical, although he has those who aren't too.

So this is not so much of a contrast with most of his classmates, but for the ones on the autism spectrum, he is VERY social, loves people, and gets along quite well. Which makes me think that he is not all that autistic (I guess I knew this all along, but this reinforces that whole knowledge). He is still very odd and somewhat ritualistic even about the way he moves, walks and talks, but he is much more flexible than most with autism.

His classmates on the other hand, scream when someone touches them and nonverbal or only slightly verbal. I also can't help noticing the kids with Down's who are very social (like #1), but with other issues. I am blessed for him to be as "easy" to parent as he is. I say "easy" because no kid is particularly easy, but he is not always going around with a chip on his shoulder, always feeling left out (although he is a lot), always angry, never getting along with anyone, and on and on.....

And for the shower, it was FUN! It was fun to see the teacher's surprise when she saw her mother and two aunts there. It was fun to be able to give so many a great, enjoyable time. It was fun to see #1 in his element, joking and laughing with his friends. It was fun to be a part of his school experience. And, it was fun to do something for the teacher who does so much for so many. Teaching, I know is MUCH more than a job...it is a calling...and I was happy to give to her in this way.

Use of Time - Mine and Theirs

2009-04-07T05:49:00.000-07:00

Lately I feel that I am either swamped with stuff and overwhelmed, or completely free and not making good use of my time. For instance, if I don't have a prior engagement, I should be working on the constant clutter that invades my space. Instead, I am finding something to do like working out (not a bad thing) or finding someone to go to lunch with (again not bad), or spending time on Facebook (terrible, as it is a huge time-waster for me). I will do better, I will. Maybe it takes scheduling it in like anything else. How often do I need to devote to my house? No idea. I do know that I am not meant to be one of these moms that stays home 24/7 cleaning and straightening, and I don't want my kids to think that they don't have to lift a finger. But, I tend to leave stuff for them because I don't want to clean up after them, and then it never gets done. I am tired of the chaos, especially in their rooms. Right?? (DUH!). And, I haven't quite figured out how to get this done other than having them earn game time.

Last Saturday, I did tell them that they had to earn their Wii time. I told them it had to be earned with exercise or work around the house. So, my #4 decided to mop the kitchen floor. Of course, you would think when was done and being rewarded by playing for 20 minutes, the others would get wise, but that didn't happen. They are thinking of how to get to play. Their minds are in gear, but they don't want to exert themselves too much (grin).

Maybe my solution is to make myself earn my free time. I do try to do laundry if I am sitting down to watch TV during the day. I do try to do a chore before I "play". The one area I need to work on is clutter. Not JUST my responsibility, but I can do something about it. Here I go!

Church Family

2009-04-03T19:51:00.000-07:00

After about 4 years in our present city (6 months in a apartment and 3 1/2 years in a home) we are finally feeling somewhat a part of our church family. For about 3 1/2 of those years, I felt that if I sunk down into the floor during worship service, no one would even notice that we had disappeared. The "being a part of things" hasn't happened overnight.

You see, being part of a family for me is having friends of various ages much like in a real "blood kin" family. So, I now have a couple friends about my own age, friends younger (like my little sisters), friends older (older sisters), and friends that are my "moms".

For a long time, the only friends I had were those almost my mom's age. That was fine, but there was no balance and they weren't in the same place in their lives as I was. It got tiring to hear of all their spare time, their "Red Hat" fun, their cruises and trips to all over, their grandkids, and their friendships. I love these ladies and they are always there for me if I need a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, but I sometimes felt that I had nothing to give them back. Now, with a new Sunday School class, our once a month Friday family fellowship, and consistently helping with childcare on Wednesday nights (mainly so I can talk to my "little sister" friend and enjoy her company), I finally feel that I have an (almost) complete family to be a part of.

There are still times I feel left out because I don't have a "ton" of friends in my stage of life and I see it happening a lot for those younger AND older. Most of those my age are pretty much unavailable either physically or emotionally. (I think having teens zaps your energy in more ways than one.) But now at least, I have hope for more....hope for my life to be filled and my heart to be full HERE in my town, not just in the towns we have lived in before. I love my friends in those places, but I don't want to long for them and be in pain to think that I may never have that again. I want to be completely whole. I do think it will happen. Not sure exactly when and where, but it is coming SLOWLY.

So, after writing this yesterday, I had to call my friend in Memphis. It was so good to have her listen to me, support me and listen to her back and feel her accept me as no one quite does here (yet). I remarked that I sometimes feel that I know more about Memphis and what is happening there than I do about what it going on here.....that when a friend has a baby, I overhear someone else talking about visiting them, but it takes about 3-4 days before I have "official word of the baby's name and size. And, when someone else is sick or hurt or was sick or hurt, it takes about two weeks before I know ANYthing about it (by then the crisis is over). So, despite feeling more a part, sometimes I feel that there are still miles to go.

The consistently "reaching out" on my end has to keep happening. And, having random groups of people over has to keep happening even if there is no reciprocity. I keep searching, keep reaching, keep looking and it will happen. I know that there is a part of my life that these people have no clue about, but that is how it is when you move in and have to establish relationships where you are at. They don't know your history. However, they can accept you with your present and you can grow in friendship from there. That is what has to happen. I am ready for it! After finding out what doesn't work and who it is NOT going to be with, I am going to find who it IS going to be with. And my new friends, those that accept me here, I am so blessed to have them.

All It Takes

2009-03-25T15:15:00.001-07:00

All it takes is a trip to Wal-Mart to remind me how hard it is to parent a girl. My girl doesn't like clothes, looking cute or (Gosh forbid) dressing up. When we are together, I want to buy her clothes, she doesn't want them or doesn't care and she for sure doesn't want to try them on. Except when I ask her to try them on, she refuses and then when I get miffed and say that will require an extra trip for me to take them back if they don't fit she says, "See Mom, you really like to make people feel guilty."

After that comment, do you think she got candy or anything she wanted? NO!!!

I guess on the other side of the coin, I am buying her something she really doesn't want or care about and asking her to do something for my convenience....

This kid is not the one to make me feel warm and fuzzy.....at least not at this stage in the game.

Because I am feeling like this post is almost an attempt to get back at her for bad behavior or her personality issues, she and I have been attempting to bond more lately. I guess I know that she might not feel that she needs it, but she DOES, and I need it too. I didn't have a daughter to have her be a stranger. So, there have been some ups as well as downs, like going together to get our toenails done, me laying in bed next to her praying for her, playing with her hair and blow-drying it, enjoying a good joke together, and reading all the little sheets from #2s tear-off calendar (Ripley's Believe It or Not) and getting grossed out at times.

She is still the one who will chose other things over video games (unlike the boys) and will spend "girly-time" with me especially if there is something in it for her - {GRIN}!!

The Gym

2009-03-25T05:10:00.000-07:00

My latest fun thing for me is going to the gym......seriously! I finally figured out that walking and Wiifit wasn't going to do all I needed it to. I found a friend who worked out and was a gym member and joined where she went (our town's recreation center). She worked out with me for a couple weeks (we are getting back to that some day), but she had a few things come up and had to drop out for a while. Amazingly, I kept going, often going more than my goal of 3 times a week. When I was working out with my friend, we did a lot of stuff and often worked out for 2 hours.

Now that I am in the driver's seat, I am not pushing myself as much. Here is my schedule: 23 minutes of elliptical (trying to build the time slowly), ab work (painful), arm work or leg work (alternating), and another 15 or 20 minutes of cardio (typically a stationary bike). I am increasing my endurance and slowly, very slowly losing weight, but other than that, not a lot of soreness (surprisingly) and not a lot of tightening up. Right now, I see it as a time to build up and establish some consistency with the routine of it (not kill myself). Eventually, I am sure without my friend to guide me, I will hire a personal trainer for some of my time at the gym, maybe once a week or so. I feel better about myself doing this. I also somehow feel decadent having this thing that is for no one else.....nothing else in my routine (except hair cuts and color) is purely for me.....not wrong, it just feels weird.

The other part of my new fitness emphasis that I am almost afraid to mention is that I have started tennis lessons. I am afraid to mention it since I am still soooo beginner and soooooo bad that it is still very embarassing to mention. But, I am making progress. My forehand is meeting the ball and kind of going where it is supposed to. My backhand is NOT good!!! I am enjoying practicing serves, except for picking up all the balls afterward.

I initially envisioned all three of the younger kids taking with me and having a blast together and learning a new fun family thing. No one would do it except #4 (well, even him I made participate) and he hated it. He finished his lessons (only 6) this past Monday night and will do baseball (again enforced participation) for the spring. I am hoping to get him back in tennis in the summer and really give him time to get better at it. I am looking for baseball to be quite painful too as he is afraid of the ball and typically whiny. But, on we plod, looking for something active for him to do that might actually turn out to be fun (fat chance).

The other kids occasionally go with me or Kevin and I to the gym to work out. They do some cardio. I want #1 and #2 to begin doing some weights, but they are very resistant to it right now.

This summer, I am hoping to tie the gaming stuff at our house to exercise. They will get a one-on-one swap for the time they spend exercising with their video games. And for #3, I will have to tie it to how much $$ I spend on her books or how much time I spend at the library with her. That way, maybe she will get more active. Ok, I know that sounds mean, but I am just brainstorming....

Pictures

2009-03-21T06:15:00.001-07:00

Playing on Crab Island
My first attempt at getting a "beach" picture
When we rented the boat, we found this little private beach. The kids were delighted to find LOTS of hermit crabs there.
#2 and his latest hat and pose
#3 when she actually let me take a picture of her (and she was smiling!)

The Beach Vacation

2009-03-19T17:37:00.000-07:00

Spring break this year was spent in Destin. Two of the kids were saying they didn't want to go. Who wouldn't want to go to the beach?!! Anyway, we cut the trip down to less days and decided to go anyway. They have had a good time once we got here. The weird thing is that without "full" cable at home, their idea of a vacation is getting to watch TV all day long. We had to bribe them to get them out of the house.

We rented a "big enough" apartment with enough beds for everyone to sleep (although no one would sleep on the top bunk, so we had to use the couch). Other than the TV thing, the bed thing, the sharing the bathroom thing, the food thing (everyone wanting to eat 24/7, including me - not good for weight loss efforts), the inactivity thing, the sunburn thing, the cold water thing, and the #1 being sick the last day thing, it was pretty good!

The highlight was definitely renting a pontoon boat (always thought it was plontoon when I was a kid- but no matter) and going out to crab island for the day. We had a great time! The water was freezing, but we braved it and enjoyed the feel of a huge, crystal clean swimming pool with about 2 1/2 foot water in it. I will share the pictures when we get back home.

Every time we go to the beach, I attempt to take pictures and my kids are not very cool with that. They think I am the paparazzi. I asked them to cooperate for my birthday or Mother's day or something. They "kind of" cooperated and we did a very short photo shoot on the beach with the sun going down for the day. I can't tell yet how they came out, but let's just say, cooperating is a relative term.....#4 was constantly telling me that I would have to photoshop out his tongue!

Another thing, our teenagers lately, are a whole new breed, it seems....our #2 keeps saying things that he feels we should take no offense to, and we amazingly don't, but if anyone else said it, we would be totally offended......

It also seems that the hygiene concerns are unending and we are constantly bribing them to get the basics done....yes, there is a lot of bribing going on at our house.....I can hear their little minds saying, "What's in it for me?" With my "super-nose" (very sensitive - very much a curse), I am constantly feeling overwhelmed with the smells of teens and preteens....

#2 is still having this weird thing about hats....I am fine with it, but I am thinking this might be a bit strange. He looks very dapper, though, in the latest version. Each day he seems to change a bit more. Right now, he is growing some major "man legs" complete with thick muscles, all of this with the same little 5 foot 1/2 inch body.

Speaking of change, #1 is now officially taller than his dad!! This is the child who took growth hormone for a couple of years....and his body continues to look like it is stretched out.......very long and thin. He needs some of the weight of the rest of us!

I feel very scattered in my post today....I am hoping that everyone isn't completely weirded out by the vastness of the topics. And, I am hoping this won't be a post that my kids will be embarassed by later....but I am pretty sure it will be...

Tomorrow we head home and have a couple restful days before the kids head back to school. I will miss them, I am sure. I love having them home with me and of course, LOVE having "Honey" home with me. I need routine, though....gym, diet, my stuff, my bed, my LIFE!

In Over My Head

2009-03-15T15:09:00.000-07:00

There is a constant feeling that I have. It is that of being "in over my head". With three teenagers (or technically two and one more in a month), I feel that whatever I do is not enough. The kids can be kind, loving, and wonderful to parent, but they can also be mean, vindictive and difficult to parent. I think that putting them in school at an older age is magnifying what would already happen. They are experiencing garbage happen every day and they are bringing it home. This is not cool!!! They know this, but it still seems to happen. I am trying to trust God that it will all come out o.k. I know that God is there and he is helping me. I can NOT do this without his help. I pray often that he gives me wisdom. Maybe that is what life's difficulties are about for the Christian.....learning to lean on him and his help. I just had a discussion about the way we talk to each other with my #2. The sum up of that discussion was to be teflon, not velcro.

Fixing the kids

2009-03-08T13:10:00.001-07:00

We have found that one of the pitfalls of raising teens is that they are very adept at their attempts to divide mom and dad. So, we figured out that this was going on in our family and we didn't like it, so what did we do? We fixed them!! We started doing more kissing and hugging in front of the children. We started reminding them that we are in cahoots. We started taking up for each other every time we had the opportunity! Things get better and worse with the kids and better and worse and up and down, but with my honey and I, things are REALLY good right now. He is my guy and I am his gal!!! So, kids, you can't succeed in dividing us....AND you will be all the better for it!

Creativity

2009-02-27T05:01:00.001-08:00

I love creativity! I think when I was homeschooling the thing that pleased me most was not the good grades or the worksheets done right, but it was when my kids thought outside the box and created something unique. I have three VERY creative kids. Not bad considering that I am not always very creative. I have a drive to create, but often don't know what form that will take (and quite truthfully although the drive is there, the time and gumption to follow through is not), but my kids, on the other hand draw, paint, write poetry, stories, class newspapers, comic strips, and 3-D art creations. I asked my #2 if I could share a poem with you and he said that I could....so enjoy! One other note: this is the child who didn't like to write until he went to school and had a teacher that really encouraged him in his writing. He now has decided that he would like to one day write a book.

It was an early morning sunrise

The beautiful day was quite a surprise

But we ignored all that, we were having fun

"Come on let's go out for a run."

Out and about in the cold morning air

Around and around mere inches to spare

We were laughing and playing in the cold morning air

The parents shook heads saying "My! What a pair!"

Then whirling and spinning on the dew covered lawn

Mom called for breakfast and then we were gone

Into the house to eat a fine meal

Away from the hearts of iron and steel

But in a safe place with hearts filled with care

And beautiful flowers and bird songs in the air

Those days back in May

My! Oh my! What a fine day!

One other note: this poem was accompanied by a dark, dreary (don't want to scare you, so I won't share it) poem. He told me that he wrote the dark, scary poem while the girls were singing on the bus. He says when they sing, they are actually screaming.....I guess he was fed up! So, when I read them both, I saw the two very different parts to his personality, both of which I see frequently as he is a typical teenager.....AND, kind of funny to see his reaction to what was going on around him!

Blogging about Teens

2009-02-26T09:20:00.000-08:00

Ok, I write most of my blogs about the experiences that I go through with my children and I enjoy the "release" it gives me to blog the good and the bad. However, having teenagers, it is hard to see how they will see this one day. They often tell me with embarrassing situations, "Mom, please just don't put this on your blog." So, I have to be careful about how much I reveal and be gentle with their feelings and how this will affect them.

On that note, one of my kids had what could only be termed a "VERY BAD DAY" this week. He reacted poorly, the other individuals acted poorly and it all turned into a middle-school "train wreck". We always hear that kids are resilient and they are. I can attest to that. I feel a little bruised. I think if the truth be told, he feels a little bruised, too. But, he made it through and we are still not sure of the consequences of what happened.

The part that angered me and still does is that the teacher involved is still "hell-bent" on what is "fair" and thinking punitively about what happened. I want, for this particular child, not what is "fair", but what is "right", what is "good", what will help him in the long run. I feel that he made decisions with a immature brain and body riddled with hormones and the teacher was somewhat disrespected (but likely more embarrassed) and she wants to "wring it out" of him.

On the other hand, I require respect and obedience and disrespect and disobedience can not be let go. I do feel that after all we have gone through with the principal, he will do what is right. I trust him and his judgement. I wouldn't relish the thought of having to take the teacher's punishment. I think she might be fair, but not do what is right.

Bottom line, I have to make my child see all aspects of this situation. He must understand how the teacher feels, why she did what she did, and that the consequences must be met head-on. He must see that although he acted immaturely, he can and must do better next time. This part is the most hard. I just want to hug him and make him feel better, not tell him that he might be punished and how to not repeat an episode like this.

But, alas, the episode is in the not too distant memory for both of us and although I feel bruised, I too will get over it and move on. I think this is one more thing that makes me feel like I would NEVER (yes that is me yelling) want to repeat this year. I might not feel like my child is ready for high school (too small, too nice) but he IS (yelling again) going to high school next year.

High School Vs. Middle School

2009-02-12T07:37:00.000-08:00

High school registration continues to be a stressful topic at our house. And yes, I know this will just go away eventually and we won't have to think about it for another year.

He made a couple choices that I wasn't sure about and one that I knew was incorrect. He really wants to be in the Engineering Academy. I am cool with that, but a prerequisite for acceptance is Algebra. Because he had no standardized test scores before last year, he was not put into Pre-Algebra last year and therefore could not take Algebra last year. I should have fought it, but not knowing the ramifications of this, I didn't know to fight it. Unfortunately, the decisions about math in middle school (and therefore) high school, are made in 5th grade. My child was an "unknown" so he was put in the lower class.

I think what my sisters says about high school vs. middle school is correct. In middle school, you are still made to fit into the box. In high school, you can define your OWN box. In #2s case, this means getting to do things that will set him on the right education track to one day work for LEGO. He has said this since he was about 10 years old or maybe even younger. He has not wavered. I want this for him. I really do. But, in this case, there is no going back. Unfortunately, I think he might be stuck with entering the Academy in the 10th grade. This will be a big disappointment for him, but I am sure he will weather it. But, it means not getting to define his box until 10th grade, not really getting to do what he would like until then, and not getting to be in this little group of people who will be like himself. This saddens me, but there is not much we can do. I have e-mailed some people who might know of an Algebra class to take during the summer that might transfer. We are going to do all we can...and if the answer is "No", then it is "No". I am confident that he will become who God wants him to be with or without Engineering in 9th grade.

Here are his other course selections:

Pre-Ap English 9

Pre-Ap Biology 9

History 9 (I thought he should have taken Pre-Ap in this one, too.)

Algebra 1

Latin 1

Theatre 1 (no band - I know he will probably do better in Theatre, but I would like for him to continue in band mainly because it gives the students a strong -and for the most part positive group to identify with - however, back to him "defining his own box")

Alternates: 1. Choir and 2. Art (I thought he should have put Art first, but he put Choir first). This only makes a difference because when we register by computer, we don't put in alternates, so in this they go by what it on your course selection sheet. Also, since he has down Engineering as one of his choices, he WILL get an alternate.

I will be praying before we enter his courses online. He will be fine. God is in control, and hopefully he will let Him continue to be in control of his life. Again, his choice! My prayers are with him, though.....

Class Newspaper

2009-02-07T05:56:00.000-08:00

My 4th grader came home Thursday night with his own version of a class newspaper. The idea was his and he was all about finishing it and copying it to hand out Friday to his class. He had a couple things that were not good for the class, so we edited them out and he added other stuff in. I am the "box top" lady for my school, so I convinced him to write a "box top" ad for me. So, he copied it and took it in with the knowledge that he would have to get his teacher's permission to hand it out. One little girl threw him into a tizzy saying that she could do better and was going to do her own. Hopefully he is not causing problems in his class, but his teacher will level with me and take care of it. I was proud of him for his initiative and creativity! He was so much about getting it done. As you can see, his forte is comic strips. He is all the time making these up. Not sure if you can read it, but here it is:

Gives Me Hope....

2009-02-04T11:49:00.000-08:00

Today was the parent orientation for the high school's Freshman Center that #2 will go to next year. Hubby went last night - was pretty overwhelmed, I couldn't go with him as someone needed to be home to oversee homework, supper, and bedtime (it was scheduled from 6-9 pm). Since this is a significant period of time and darling husband didn't come away with any brilliant insights on course selection, I questioned whether I needed to go today or not. However, to try to find out if #2 even needed to go there (after the struggles he has had this year with bullying, depression, stress), and to uphold the level of commitment that his dad had in going last night, I decided to go this morning. The meeting was scheduled for 8-11, so I had to skip my ESL volunteering to go. Long story short, I sat through the long talk with the big group of parents feeling very confused about what he should take: regular, pre-AP, pre-IB, etc., etc., etc.....and not a little discouraged.

After the introductory session, all the parents go into the cafeteria to talk to the teachers and see what each class and academy (they have five different academies - Engineering, Law, Finance, Health Services, and Technology) had to offer. Background - This school is one grade and is leading into a school with a combined attendance of about 2,400-2,600 students. So, they offer a lot and it is very confusing. (And just so you know, I graduated with about 98 other people.) So as I went from table to table I was asking what I could and trying to get a feel for the expectations.

When I finished talking to all I could, I happened upon one of the counselors that I knew had worked with my oldest when he went to this school last year. I don't know her, but I went up, introduced myself as BK's mom. She lit up and began to tell me how "He is a doll!" and "I love him." Maybe I will blog more about his legacy later. But, I believe in getting to the point and telling people what I need, so I began to ask her about bullying at the FC and how they handle it and if it gets better during high school, etc. So, this counselor was the perfect one for me to talk to because she had been through that with her own child last year!! It had affected him so greatly that he had to repeat his grade and was moved to a private school. So, she definitely knew what I was talking about. And, when I started telling her about how it had affected his motivation to do school and him wanting to give up, she had experienced this first hand. In addition, she knew exactly what to do about it. She had lots of ideas, such as him meeting with her after the student tour and her helping him in getting the right teachers who care and want to help kids, those teachers who look out for their kids and will be like the "mama hen" for those kids who need it. She also spoke of meeting with him during the summer and helping him to feel that he had an ally at the campus. She spoke of connecting him with other kids who needed friends. She will continue the one support that has worked for him this year (having a high school kid come - a peer helper - to see him once a week). Bottom line - she gave me HOPE!!!! Hope that my child can do better next year than this year. Hope that he can succeed and move on. Hope that there will be someone looking out for him.

I feel that this is a direct answer to prayer. I have prayed for God's wisdom that He show us if we are to continue with him in public school and God has given me hope. I thank God for this. Also, God "dumped my mom out of her recliner" (her words) this morning at 5:00 or so and told her to tell us to read this scripture with him. It is Isaiah 41: 11-13. I want to weep as I think about how God is using these little things to speak His great and awesome love for us. I tear up now, thinking of how He is reminding me that HE LOVES ME! He loves me and He loves my child. And He will be with him. If you go on, verse 14 says, "Despised though you are, O Israel, don't be afraid for I will help you. I am the Lord, your Redeemer. I am the Holy One of Israel." GREAT, AWESOME, WONDERFUL, LOVING GOD!!!!!

My Brilliant Son

2009-02-04T11:36:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of a political cartoon that #2 drew for his Reading class. They are studying "media". The teacher used it as an example of how a political cartoon needs to be witty and enjoyable even for those that don't share your point of view. But, she told him that he needed to do another one. Not sure why......is it because she is uncomfortable with him making this point?

I tried to post the pictures in the order I wanted to post them, but you will see the balloon first and then the whole picture. Please disregard the handwriting and grammar and see the brilliancy of the point he is trying to make.

If you can't read it, here is what it says, "Somehow, I don't think this works the same way as the easy button."

True Story - Not Sure Why I Want to Share This

2009-02-01T18:08:00.000-08:00

On the way home from my parents recently, we stopped in a mid-sized town that we used to live in to go to the restroom. The boys and I went in, each to our own destination. As usual, the boys headed on out ahead of me to get into the warm comfy car, while I, taking a little bit longer, fiddled around buying a pack of gum or something to keep everyone happy for the next 3-4 hours. I happened to get behind a young man (probably mid 20s or early 30s) in line. He was buying a lot of magazines. As I looked more closely at the stack, I notice that they were the variety that are covered in plastic. He was dressed in shorts and short sleeves and has a tatoo on his upper arm that the girls behind the counter noticed and asked him what it meant. It was a scripture reference that he promptly started to recite. The verse was John 8:36. Please look it up. Obviously, he is not free, at least not yet. Anyway, the bill for his addiction was more than $60. As he left, I am surprised at the cost, but the ladies tell me that they cost about $10 a piece. Of course, I am thinking, hoping, that he isn't taking food from his family to feed his addition. And, of course, when he leaves, the girls burst into laughter at the irony of it. I was deeply saddened as they begin to share of all the types of people buying these magazines. They speak of a preacher, leaving his bus in the lot to come in and buy magazines of this variety. I left praying for this young man, in bondage, not experiencing the freedom that God provides. I was also shaken. I have never seen someone buying such a stack of magazines of this sort before. I know that porn is so much more of a problem than ever before because of the availability of it on the Internet, but it had never been in my line of vision before. I feel older, somehow, just witnessing this.

Amazing Video, Amazing Man

2009-01-27T19:35:00.001-08:00

This video is so amazing that it is hard to put into words what you feel when you watch it. I won't try. Just watch it!

Meeting with the Principal

2009-01-24T05:12:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I had #3s IEP meeting. You just never know who is going to do the job for the "administration" sign-off. I have had a counselor come a couple of times and fill in for that role. Anyway, the 6th grade principal was there. When the signing was all over, she asked me if darling daughter had told me about the little "incident" that took place. I said "no" and began to sweat thinking the worst and wondering why I HADN'T heard about it from daughter. So, she goes on to say that there was a little incident in class this week and the "charming child that she is" called a little boy a "retard". Of course, I was mortified, but the principal made me feel so much better by saying that she owned up to it, admitting exactly what she said and tearing up (the principal promptly embraced her) and was very sorry and repentant. The principal went on to say that she and #3 are "friends" and that she thinks it was not a big deal for her to confront her. She said that "she doesn't have favorites, but if she did, 'daughter' would be one of them, but she doesn't have favorites". She also said she told #3 "You don't have a mean bone in your body," meaning that she just blurted it out without thinking and not to be mean, just to be funny. Well, she might not know my child very well. She does have at least one mean bone - everyone does - but she is a good kid and wants to do well both academically and with her behavior. I came away with the feeling that those at this school seek to handle things in the best way possible and that they are "lovin' my child" and she is "lovin' them back". I was in admiration for the principal and that when she addressed it, it was over! She stressed that she didn't want #3 to think that she tattled on her and it was a done deal. I, however, wanted to bring it up to my children if for no other reason than to just say "Please tell me when you have to see the principal". So, I covered it without much fanfare and told all three younger ones to come to me before I hear from someone else. They said they would and I don't think it will happen again. #3 said she just forgot. Apparently she didn't think it was as big of a deal as I did, and she knows the principal holds her in high regard. Not a bad thing, considering I want her to see people in authority as someone to respect and, if possible,build a relationship with. That will only help her later in her life. Hopefully, there won't be any other "principal" confrontations to address.

Every other part of the meeting went well and she is only qualified in "written expression". Again, this seems to be a family trait. The verbal skills are great, the vocabulary is great, the intelligence is there, but we just don't get it on paper very well. Overall, she has surpassed my expectations with all A's for her semester grades. I am very proud of her effort and the results. She is doing well.

New President

2009-01-20T18:24:00.000-08:00

So, I watched the inauguration and ongoing festivities for a good portion of the day today with my friend (also a conservative). I am thrilled that we have an African-American president. Seriously! Everyone in this great country MUST know how much it means to black people everywhere to experience this wonderful moment in history. I feel their joy, I really do! I also feel their pride. I feel their pain at all they have been through to make this happen. I, too, am proud of him and his poise, intelligence and accomplishments. I am impressed with his family. I love that we have someone with new ideas and new proposals. I did not choose him, but he can surprise me! However, there is a big concern in my heart. My biggest fear and pain is that he is adamantly pro-choice (or more correctly named pro-death) and will stop at nothing to see that this cause is furthered from one end of our nation to the other, state to state. So, today, I grieve. I grieve because it had to be THIS black president, this man who is so grossly in error about this issue. You can say what you want about the other issues - I don't particularly like the war, although the results to me are good (at least mostly), I don't like "spreading the wealth around" in the way that it has been proposed, but these issues are not "morality issues" for me. For me, they are political issues. For me, the idea of killing or causing babies to die is a morality issue. I pray for God's hand on our country and an end to this infanticide. I pray for God to have mercy on us for our errors in allowing this to happen. And I pray for God's wisdom in knowing what I can do to make a difference.

Mini Family Reunion

2009-01-19T09:36:00.001-08:00

#4 with my cute nephew - some of my favorite moments were seeing them interact with their cousins. We see each other so little and there is a comfort level that they have with each other.

This photo was towards the beginning of the trip when my preschooler niece wasn't real comfortable with me. But, I wedged her in-between me and #2 and she was very happy sitting there for a while.
These two are favorites of each other. #3 and my niece have a quiet understanding of each other.
This picture of me is a picture of me in heaven. Having my two nieces on my lap and happy with me and each other was sooooo fun. It brings tears to my eyes thinking of it. We see each other so little and they are so sweet (not to mention beautiful).
The Risk marathon that was finally a "draw":

The most beautiful baby in the world (and this picture doesn't do her justice with her curly brown locks, dark blue eyes, perfect mouth and precious dimples - I could go on and on.....):

I am sadly having niece/nephew withdrawal!! I spent the last few days at my parents' home in the country. All of my siblings were there except my brother who is halfway around the world. We didn't do much, just hung out....well the "men" did have a marathon Risk game with my youngest sister playing war consultant to all four of them. Other than that, we cooked, held babies, watched the kids play and talked. It was very enjoyable. There were many times of almost "head-butting" when we couldn't agree on something, but coming away without a complete "episode" was a major miracle. (I guess it is because there are so many strong-willed people involved.) We each deferred a little (or a lot) to the others and we all made it through.

Sunday was a especial trial for me as I wanted to go to the church we grew up in, but my dad had a planned preaching engagement at a small (think tiny), country church near their home. I was very out of sorts the whole drive to church thinking of fighting my kids in a small church "on display" for everyone to see. But, the service was enjoyable, the people were friendly, and the kids were fine. My youngest sister didn't drive in for church, but she came later with "po-boys" for everyone. That was a real "food" highlight. We all wanted a small taste of food from our taste memories without going out and wrangling 7 kids. It was delicious! We also had king cake (with special fillings) and my sister cooked a really good, all-out meal of baked chicken, veggies, and rice for Saturday night.

The kids, I have to say, were the highlight, though. "Little baby" niece is so pleasant (never cries) and easy-going, the big brother is adorable playing with his football and asking to watch the game during Sunday dinner (he's only 2), the preschooler niece is sweet, fun and slowly warming up to everyone more, and even my kids in their teen and pre-teen angst were sweet, charming, mature (at least more so than usual), helpful with the babies and fun!

We left at 7:00 PM last night, so the drive for my honey was torturous, but he wouldn't let me drive. We got in at 12:00 AM and went straight to bed. So now, instead of getting caught up, I am sitting here blogging....I really must go unpack and do some laundry. The kids go back to school tomorrow and I have a birthday party to plan for Saturday.

Post Party Monday

2009-01-12T06:13:00.000-08:00

Pre-simmered gumbo:Tables semi-ready:

It's a Monday, and a post-party, the stuff is still out, the tables are still out and long leaves in and decorated, the dishes not all clean, "useful" clutter put up where we can't find what we need, Monday at that. Plus there are a lot of very bad foods in my house. I will try to make it today with them in my space, but the kids need to eat up tonight because I am going to purge them out. I can't have them there tempting me, giving me grief.

So, I fed 27 people! And the consensus was that EVERYONE (except me) wants this party after Christmas. I don't mind it being after, it is just something to kinda dread after Christmas as if any of us need something to dread after Christmas. I felt like I wanted "honey" to know how much pain I was in doing this and taking on the bulk of the work. But, he was grateful. He was sweet and he is always doing stuff for me.....so I am fine. I just need to do this for him.... I will focus on the good. It makes him happy and his team - well, more of a team. And that is important in this day of difficult economical situations and stress on every front.

I am done. I will quit whining...and this is one post he won't HAVE to read.

Again, I love you, my friends. Don't worry, the next party is one I will choose to do. And I did feel some pride in the tables, my home and how everything looked with lit candles everywhere.

BIG Gumbo Thing

2009-01-10T05:29:00.000-08:00

Every year (or almost every year), I do this big party for honey's team. The first year I made gumbo and it was such a hit that now I feel pressured to do the same thing every year. I make two big pots, usually in 3-4 steps - and this is not something that I take short-cuts on. The stock is the real deal, simmered for a couple hours, rich with veggies, the veggies for the second step are hand chopped, the roux is done in the microwave so it won't tie me to the stove stirring it for 30 minutes, but that is the only thing I make easier on myself. I love the finished product and most other people do too (or if they don't, they don't tell me), but it is a real "labor of love". This is one of the few things that I do JUST for my spouse other than, well the other things are for me and the kids too. I don't (for the most part) know these people, don't know their jokes or feel their day-to-day pain, don't participate very much in their conversation, but every year, I clean my house (this year with a lot of help from my twice monthly cleaning lady), straighten the clutter, and cook, COOK, COOK!!!

Despite how this sounds, I enjoy doing this for him. The big difference this year is that we couldn't fit it in before Christmas (this is like his Christmas present to his team), so we are doing it this weekend. I will be honest, it feels a little weird. I don't quite know how to decorate. I WILL use my new Christmas dishes that my in-laws so graciously helped me collect (thanks, guys), but the decorating is beyond me. I put up the tree and most of the trimmings. The one thing I left out is my favorite Christmas decoration - my Nativity. I love the serenity of it and the meaning, so I left it out. Other than that, I have no vision for the decorations. But, nevertheless, it will happen - in less than 11 hours.....I must get on it. The gumbo is done and simmering, the floors and bathrooms are pretty clean, so now I must pick up the last clutter left from the kids coming home from school, put up the clean laundry that litters the living room, and decorate....somehow!!!

Baby Pictures

2009-01-07T19:21:00.000-08:00

Me as a baby:

#3 as a baby:The ages are different, but I thought it would be interesting to see these together. I have very few baby pictures (in fact, this might be one of about two), so I am thankful to have it.

New Years Puzzle Marathon

2009-01-02T19:07:00.000-08:00

The last two days, we have been on a puzzle-making marathon. We did get out this AM to go "make groceries" as they call it in my home state. Then, this PM, we went to the new Bass Pro. How I LOVE those stores!! We had a great time on this little field trip, shopping (mostly window shopping), shooting, seeing the stuffed animals, and dreaming of very big boats and great outdoor vacations.

Back to the puzzles, we finished one of a old-time schoolhouse (500 pieces) and are now working on a picture of San Francisco (also vintage-looking - 500 pieces). Yes, I realize those were very easy ones, so the next one we have picked out is 1000 pieces, and a very hard puzzle almost completely in gray and white, a picture of a wolf pack. My younger two sons picked it out. I don't relish the thought of doing that one. Leaving the store, I made all three younger kids raise their right hands and promise to stick with it and not leave Mom doing it all by herself. We will see how far that goes.....

I also had a beautiful, new faucet installed by "Mr. Handyman" himself, fixed a wonderful soup for supper, talked to my brother and his family via modern technology, and enjoyed my family since everyone was home again today.

I don't relish the thought of the kids starting back to school They have three days left. I feel myself beginning to mourn. I will enjoy seeing my friends again, but I will miss my kids and I sooooo hate how homework completely takes over our lives!! Enough griping.....I will put a happy face on for them. And enjoy the last few days of holiday.

Christmas- Our Traditions

2009-01-01T12:53:00.000-08:00

We have a few Christmas traditions. We hope that you have made your own with your family. My friend L.B. always tells me that she longs for the "team spirit" that we have in our family. Some of that is what others see, but not what is true, if you know what I mean. But, we do try to sacrifice some (sometimes a lot) of ourselves for the team. For instance, since the kids have been in school, I would love to escape often or even occasionally on a weeknight and let the kids deal with their own homework, but I stay and tough it out to support them in their school. It also wouldn't be fair to "honey" who works hard all day. I have also given up (at least mostly) Friday night scrap-booking crops. I may go occasionally, but after a week of school, I am longing for the family to be together and in one place. This might not be something we can do forever especially with the kids getting older, but right now, we can. I have also given up my yearly "girl trip". Truthfully, right now there is no one free to travel with me and I don't feel the urge to travel much alone without my family.

The "manly man", of course, gives up a lot to be a good dad. He could be hunting or fishing or whatever, but he chooses to do what is best for the family. He rarely gets a "man break". That does happen the weekend of Veteran's Day every year, but not often otherwise. And, he doesn't do the typical man things like watching the holiday bowl games or poker or whatever it is that other men do not involving their families.

Anyway, that was a little off-subject. Back to Christmas. Part of being a team is also building traditions that make holidays (and normal days) special.

Here are a few of our Christmas ones:

Christmas letters - letters written to each child to encourage and exhort them in what they have done right and things that they might want to work on.
Cheese and crackers, fruit, sparkling juice on Christmas eve in the den
Opening one present on Christmas Eve (parent's choice)
Oyster Stew - we have this for Thanksgiving and Christmas almost without fail
Reading the Christmas story from Luke (the kids each read a little) before presents and then....
Prayer together

These little things help us remember what is important this time of year: God and family (in that order).

We also always see his family the weekend before for fondue and presents, and my family the weekend after (or some time in the holidays). We usually always seek to have Christmas day itself in our own home. That doesn't always happen because of various family commitments, but usually. This helps us focus on the core unit which is hard in today's culture. And that is kind of my point. This is a common theme of my blog, but make time for each other. Make sacrifices for your family and remember to do all you can to draw the string softly yet tightly (and lovingly, of course) around your spouse and kids. I think it helps when times are tough to remember that you had some good solid memories and traditions. Having just been to the Gardens, forgive the gardening metaphor, but it helps to construct a lattice for your family to grow on!!

Thanks again for all your comments to me personally about enjoying my blog. It feels good to write it simply for myself, but it does help to know from time to time that others are reading!! I love and cherish all my friends. You make my life sooooooo much richer.

Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T18:53:00.000-08:00

Christmas Eve:

One present each

cheese and fruit

reading together

kids off to bed - at least in theory

Mom writing Christmas letters

kids too excited to sleep

tree beautiful

stormy night

warmth inside

romance

family

love

21 years today!!

2008-12-19T07:13:00.004-08:00

21 years ago.....we were little more than children. The wedding was beautiful and meaningful thanks mostly to my mom. The women in our church went all out to help with the reception, including a beautiful cake. The service itself brought me to tears as my dad prayed at the end for Kevin and I, thanking God for the blessings of having me in his home (oof!).

And here we are a little older, a little grayer (O.K., mine is covered up), but still loving each other and indeed blessed by God.

I can't tell you how it feel to be married to my husband for 21 years. He is a hard working, loving, handsome and sweet man! I love him, I love him, I love him. And the greatest thing is that HE LOVES ME!!!! I know that and I am secure in that love.

Lord, help me to never, never take that love for granted.

Merry Christmas to you and your family. Please take time to reflect on that greatest gift given so long ago, yet so current and relevant for today.

Can you spell Christmas P-A-I-N?!

2008-12-08T05:18:00.000-08:00

Every year around this time, my kids start really acting raunchy! I noticed the first year I was a mom, I am sure, but it got really bad when they were all preschoolers and is still continuing to this day. It just seems that no matter how good our fall was, it goes downhill from there and the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is such PAIN! They can't seem to get along, they don't want to do chores, they are antsy and bratty and unkind. I kind of wish they believed in Santa, but even if they had when they were preschoolers, those days are LONG gone.

Anyway, somehow we always make it through this time of the year without me killing them (you haven't read about me in the paper yet). I hope God will give me grace to deal with them better than I have been the last few days. Some things, hubby was like "let it go" and I didn't want to. I didn't want to let it go because all this misbehavior just seems to "pile up". I can't get over the last one, so they just merge from one into the other. Maybe it is because at this point, the kids are getting too old to be coerced into seeing my viewpoint and apologizing. One child in particular (no names, but only one of a different gender) can't seem to admit guilt or even "be" sorry. O.K., I know you are tired of this vent or rant. I will sign off, just remember me and my kids in your prayers. We are having a bad month!

The Mystery

2008-12-03T19:26:00.000-08:00

We have this really slippery spot on our floors and stairs. So slippery that #1 fell twice coming down the stairs! He wasn't hurt, but he sure was sore. Anyway, I have not cleaned the floors lately, the cleaning lady comes next week (so it wasn't her), and the dog was safely locked up so she couldn't have secretly stood on her hind legs and polished the floors. The only thing I can think of is that while I was dusting the table in the foyer before I put up my nativity I have there, I got some Pledge on the floor. But it is a huge area on both sides of the stairs and in front of them. Weird! Well, now I have to clean the floors and get the "polish" off of them. They have to be dull and lifeless again so my kids won't fall down. How do I do that? And #1 might be happy to not fall again, but the other kids will miss sliding on them. Since we noticed it this afternoon, they have had a great time getting a running start and sliding into the front door!

Vacation with Friends and Family

2008-11-29T17:39:00.000-08:00

This week we went to a little beach house with my in-laws near Ft. Morgan. Our dear friends, the W's were there with their family. They reserve their family beach house for Thanksgiving every year. My friend's family, her mom and dad, and brother and his family all went down in the brother's coach. We were staying about 3 miles away, so we easily went back and fortha nd even had one of her boys over the spend the night. J's brother and his wife are very fun and we love spending time with them, too. They have four little blond-headed girls who are the epitome of cute, sassy, and fun. Their "least-un" (2 years old) shares my name, so we had to have a picture together.

When we left, we hugged and I felt that I wished I could live near people who loved me like these friends. Not that I don't have friends here, but these people know me better than most people here and they love me and are real with me. They are fun, personable, and frank. They are one of a kind! My friend's SIL was there when I broke my foot in 2003, so we have a special bond, as well. She is a Godly, encouraging person. She prayed for me when I fell that July 4th and stayed with me until someone else showed up to help me. I will never forget that!

The kids were sweet, but the ride home was, as usual, a trial. For a good portion of the trip, I sat with two boys in the middle seat so #2 could sit in the front with Dad and #3 could have the back seat to herself. Needless to say, as good as the trip is, the homecoming is very good as well. My sweet, happy doggie (happy because she had her special friend visit her instead of being boarded) was waiting for us. She is curled up next to me right now.

Here are some pictures that I wanted to share.....

The ride home:

R and R posing for a picture:

This is a fine-feathered friend that I met on the "bayside" up in a tree. He let me know he was there and let me take some shots.

We (hubby, FIL, #2, and #4 and I) went catching crabs on the beach late the last night. It was SO much fun, but I wish I had video. It was too dark. The kids were so funny running to catch them and then dancing (to get away from them) when they let them go. YIKES! They do pinch, not that I got close enough!
Hubby and #1 doing what they love even though they didn't catch anything except a pelican (long story - don't worry, they got the bait out of its mouth so Mom (I) wouldn't start crying).

My sweetie and me (this is my favorite picture in a LONG time - maybe 20 years).
This is my beautiful, sweet, unique little girl!

The "burg"

2008-11-20T14:53:00.000-08:00

At #4's school, there is a tradition for 4th graders the week before Thanksgiving. They reenact colonial times complete with costumes, sets, and small short skits. They have a inn/tavern, a church, a print shop, a schoolhouse, a courtroom, etc. The kids work very hard learning lines and acting their parts. The parents and entire school goes through the different scenes and hears the short little skits that they perform. I have to say that my #4 was the cutest little narrator imaginable. He can be see dressed up on the right side of my blog, but here are some other pictures. I had a great time helping out and enjoyed being at the school all day. It was an exhausting time and the kids were antsy in-between performances, but they did their best. At one point, I corralled the kids onto the floor and had them doing stretches and deep breathing. When the student teacher walked up and asked what they were doing, they said, "We are doing our yoga." Not exactly, but it was an attempt to calm and relax them in-between performances. (I hope no one minds me sharing a few pictures.)

Become as a child.....

2008-11-19T11:59:00.000-08:00

God loves children, there is not doubt! Me too! In Luke 18:17 Jesus says that for us to enter the kingdom of heaven, we must become as a child. There are things I don't like children, though. In thinking on this, as I teach ESL, I find more and more my students to be the perfect mix of adults and children. They are children in adult bodies, if you will. I love that they are new, see things in a fresh way, think in an idealistic way, love to have fun, and don't mind becoming a little childish in order to learn new things. They don't always have the "pat" response that I am expecting and often like to shake things up. Once with two different classes, when they saw the word "throw" and were asked to put the particle with it (that defines what you are going to do - like in, out, away, etc.) they said "throw up." I found it very funny and we laughed together. This is something a child would do. Also, they like to make jokes, even in dark, unusual ways. For instance, one time, my student made a sentence with hang up (again an excercise on two-part verbs) to say, "My friend hang up himself." I told him he was into "black comedy". Of course, first I had to make sure he was kidding - he was! We laughed together. We tell them children's stories, we recite phonic poems for children, we use "baby" or "milk" Bible verses. But it is fun and I love it. I love that they are independent, thinking adults, but also are children in many ways.

So, what did Jesus mean? I think he meant a lot of things, but one thing he might have meant is to be teachable, leadable. My students are very teachable. They are sponges looking for the newest "slang", the unknown vocabulary, the cultural things we take for granted. They love to learn. And in the right context, kids love to learn too. Most American adults are too complacent. They are not looking to learn from those around them. They think they know it all, that they don't need help. I find it very refreshing to be around people who are so eager for life and especially learning. They make my life richer for being in it! People lately tell me that I light up when I talk about ESL or the students. I light up because they light up my life a little. They are a very special segment of our society. I am thankful that God placed this in my heart and life.

These years in between.....my experiences so far with raising teens

2008-11-18T18:10:00.000-08:00

The years in-between being young and being old are times to build a career, raise teens, settle down, and find out what you are made of. If your marriage makes it through the "baby years", then you have the years of raising teens to look forward to. It is not fun at times. You lose all sense of control, you have almost no brain cells left (or at least you might feel that way), and the hours of sleep might just be less then when the kids were babies. It is not that you can't leave them awake and go to bed, but you probably won't sleep much for hormones (your own) and worry about the teens in your life. I always thought that my kids would be different, that my kids would not be typical teens and would give me little cause to worry. Even without drugs, alcohol, and sex, there is the tension over homework, messy rooms, chores not done, relationships with siblings, and a various array of everyday "little foxes". I do thank God that my kids are not into drugs or overly interesting in the opposite sex (at least for now) but it seems that there are a lot of things that could be better. God is faithful, though, and there are moments where I truly see His love shining through my kids (and even me). I am grateful for the years I had with my kids homeschooling when there was very little involvement from anyone but me. They had friends, but it was up to me to drive them or arrange for them to be together. They had outside experiences, but it was me that arranged them and saw to it that they were where they needed to be. The choice I made then now affects the way we relate to each other. My teens are closer to me than if they had been in school. I am confident of that. Although I look at them not having "bookoodles" of friends somewhat as a negative, it isn't always. When I worried aloud to our youth pastor about my teens trying drugs and such, his reply was that they would have to have friends who would introduce them to it. Although they do have friends, they aren't the focus of their lives. And their friends are not at school, and mostly not of the "worldly" type. I thank God that I am such an influence in their lives. I know it will change as for now they are not driving. However, they all like being home. They don't have desires to get out and experience the world the way some their age crave experiences like that. Maybe they are comfortable here. Maybe too comfortable here, but I am convinced it is not all bad.

I pray that I am doing SOME things right now, but as for the past, I don't regret homeschooling. I feel that I was doing what God called me to do. I also feel that when I put them in school, I was again being obedient. God will meet me and do the rest. I pray not to lose one of them to the world. I pray for wisdom. Praying and doing what I know to do is all God asks. I am sure we all make mistakes. I pray that the mistakes I make with my kids will "all come out in the wash".

A Modern Family

2008-11-08T19:01:00.000-08:00

I so wish I had a picture to share with you on this one, but sadly, it would have been wrong to share a picture of a complete stranger's family on my blog. Here is the best I can do for a word picture. This was the scene in Panera at the table next to us. Two "young adult" women each with a laptop (visibly related to each other - had to be sisters) with (no doubt) their mom each involved in their own activities. I saw the sisters completely engrossed in their 'puters with the mom getting up periodically to refill the soup bowls, beverages, etc. For example, she would buy a quart of soup and divide it between the three of them. The mom was very touching in her care of these two girls who were clearly accepting the care, but not really acknowledging her. I felt that this was a family who loved each other, despite their somewhat self-absorbed existence. It seemed that they could have been in separate places or even in their own home with little or no contact, but they chose to be together at one table, being together nevertheless in a very interesting way! In all fairness, maybe they were college students who needed to study and this was the place to do it with high-speed Internet - who knows the situation. I just found the whole scene very indicative of our society today. In light of that, let me sign off the blog, shut down the computer and at least enjoy the movie with my children (grin)!

The Election

2008-11-04T19:05:00.000-08:00

Our election tradition is to print out a map, color in the states red and blue as the numbers come in. We added one little piece of adding up the numbers of the electoral college votes this time.We try to make it a "party" atmosphere, getting the kids to have fun, get involved, and enjoy themselves. My kids did marvelously in understanding the logistics of the election for president. I am proud of them for getting involved. Each of the three younger kids "voted" electronically at their school. The school votes in and counted were for McCain. However, we are in a very middle-class conservative area that hasn't been largely hurt by the economy.

The fun is over, though. It is 9:10 by my computer clock and the kids are finally all in bed or headed there shortly. The TV stations are saying they are pretty much sure Obama will be the next president. God is in control! I feel confident that He will make his purpose known. He will sustain us and love us and take care of us, no matter who is in the White House. Maybe for God, this is not such a big thing?!

This weekend - Friends and Family

2008-11-03T05:25:00.000-08:00

This weekend, I was very privileged to be a part of my niece's Christening. We are not Catholic, but we felt that we wanted to go to support her decision and be a part of her life and especially the lives of her children.

We had such a great time. My tiny niece was so beautiful in her gown. I can't even describe it! She was so sweet. TJ, the two-year-old brother, was equally handsome in his little vest and tie. S. and her husband are charming, handsome and fun! We had such a great time with them. I also enjoyed being with her "in-laws" and my parents. Everyone was happy, full of good food, and getting along marvelously.

We also were able to attend the church I grew up in as a child. The pastor that is there now was our pastor in MS in our tiny little church where we attended as very young marrieds. We had our oldest while he was there. It was so good to see them and hear him preach.

Also at church were a couple old (long-time) friends that I enjoy seeing. One of them is one of my very loyal blog-readers. She told me how much she enjoys reading it and keeping up with us. She is probably my "longest" friend. She and I have been friends since we were about 2 or 3 years old. (Notice I didn't say "oldest" since she and I are just about the same age.) It was very sweet to see her,chat with her, and give her a hug. Of course, there were long periods when we didn't have very much contact, but now I can see her when I go "home". She is the same. Hopefully I am too. Hopefully we haven't changed very much. I feel very satisfied that God gave me some very rich experiences this weekend to look back on. I am so grateful for His kindnesses to us this weekend.

Since we traveled back last night and got home about 8:30, I am still trying to get into the swing of Monday morning. Three of the kids are off to school (#4 has a rash and will need to see the doctor this morning), the washer and dryer are going strong, the piles and piles of laundry are waiting to be cycled through. It is a typical Monday for me. But, the house is pretty quiet and I will be enjoying getting things back in order for a busy week. Today is my big sigh after a weekend on the road.

My ESL friends

2008-10-30T12:54:00.000-07:00

In the process of volunteering at Hunter Street Baptist Church's ESL program, I have bonded with some of the students, of course, but the students in this type of ESL program easily move from one type of life to another. One minute they are just arriving and know no English, the next they are seeking jobs and getting into culture and language even more. The ones that stay are those with young children or those that work somewhere or time that they can continue to come to classes during the day. Or the wives of working men that can afford to stay at home. Anyway, you get the point. There is quite a bit of coming and going. And because I am in and out of different classes, I am getting to know a lot of the students, but none "deeply". But I do love them. Anyway, this year, the bonding I have done has been more with the teachers. I got to know the "hostess" who welcomes everyone, tests and places our students, and organizes a lot of other things like copies, snacks, etc. She is very sweet and fun. I have also gotten to know the "coordinator" who was a missionary and school music teacher, loves music and is a whiz at teaching, and organizing all the classes (finds teachers and substitutes). She is also the leader at "break time" when we sing sweet funny songs, spend time with each other, and have snacks. There is the English whiz and former high school teacher who loves grammar and phonics (and the students, of course) and is very gifted in the advanced class. There is the former kindergarten teacher who loves and nurtures the beginners. I also can't forget the young Indonesian mommy who helps in every way and every thing. And also, the "assistant" in the beginner's class who plays with babies, sits patiently beside one older lady helping her understand, and supports in a lot of other ways. So, you see, these people have really filled my heart with love for themselves and for the students that we teach. They are special, special people who all have a distinct place to fill. And, most important for me, they have welcomed me with open arms even though I don't go to church there. In the beginning, many thought I did. They would say stuff about Sunday morning as if I was there. However, now that they know I don't, they are still ready to accept me for who I am. They are loving, kind, encouraging, complementary, and full of the Lord. I so appreciate them. And I appreciate the fire God has lit in my heart for internationals, for you see, I now know what I want to do "when I grow up". I want to teach ESL. I want to be a part of peoples lives who were not born here, but chose to be here. I am sure there are things they don't like about our country, but they have a innocent, fresh perspective. And I enjoy learning to see things from someone else's eyes. So, thank you to the people who make ESL at HSBC a great place to love, learn, and build friendships! And, as a side note, thank you to my sister who encouraged me to get involved in an ESL program.

Vintage, Creepy, Beautiful Good Time

2008-10-27T13:04:00.000-07:00

The weekends are a time to recover. And for my husband and I, it is a time to nurture our relationship the way we can't during the week. Every Saturday night, almost without fail, my husband and I go for our date night. Last Saturday, we left not really having a purpose for where we were going. Finally we settled on going to Sumo's for dinner. On the way to Sumo's we were surfing the web on spouse's blackberry and I remembered this event at the Alabama Theatre downtown. The event was a silent movie with organ accompaniment. So, we head off downtown quite late for us (the movie was to start at 8:00). I was excited driving up to the old theatre seeing the old lighted sign. We entered and saw some pretty strange characters dressed up in different ways. There was one haunt creeping around behind posts and lurking around. I am easily spooked so I made sweetie go with me to the restroom (well, not with me, but to that area - you know what I mean). The thing is, this old movie palace really played into the whole night. It is beautiful, but in a creepy, forgotten, out of the way kind of way. For instance, you have to go down a set of stairs to the bathroom into a hidden area of the theatre in the basement. Anyway, we found our seats, enjoying the heavy organ/screaming/rattling chains music. The patrons continued to be seated and we continued to enjoy ourselves, talking and being together. Maybe a little more together than usual in this setting on this night. The stage was lit eerily green with a wind-blown gauzy backdrop. There were tombstones scattered on it and the wonderfully ornate organ was prominently displayed. At 8:00, the lights went out and the drama began. Several haunts paraded down the aisle, the leading ones with huge and ornate candelabra. They proceeded up onto the stage and rolled out a casket. The casket opened and the occupant rose, "Dracula-style" from its depths. The occupant was the organist who proceeded to take his place at the organ with the haunts slowly putting out the candles one by one with their bony fingers. The movie started (silent film version of Phantom of the Opera) complete with an hour and a half of (appropriate to each scene and situation) organ music. VERY COOL!! Of course at the end, the haunts came back with the coffin and escorted the organist away complete with a Red Phantom. The movie was very strange. The story is much the same as the other tellings, but the actions are, of course, exaggerated and the actors were over the top in their facial expressions and make-up. But, the setting, the music (especially the music) and the theatrics all went together to make it a very enjoyable evening, and particularly like no other evening. During the summer last year, we went to the Alabama Theatre several times to enjoy classic movies and the organ concert before each one. They were my favorite dates that we have ever had. I loved the setting, the movies, and the company of my sweet husband. But, this night surpassed them all. We both had such a great time. It was just my speed for creepiness (not the Saw V kind) but a vintage, beautiful kind of creepy good time!!

Things at home

2008-10-22T12:32:00.001-07:00

Most of you know me very well and therefore know that I have four children. They are 17, 14, 12, and 9. So, I have three who are teenagers, or at least two "official" teenagers and one who is "hot on their heels". Then I have a 9 year old who is at times a sigh of relief in our home and at other times, another emotionally complex being in our home.

Emotionally complexity....that is some of what this entry is about. But, it is also about being together and quite simply, being a team. Because I am trying to respect my children's privacy, I will not elaborate on what all the "insanity" is. Just know that right now, our home is an emotionally complex place to be. There are a few sane moments here and there, but mostly, we are very emotionally charged and that isn't always a good thing. Even when things are good for one, that might mean that they are bad for another. When one has a friend over, sometimes the others are very unhappy with that. When one is doing well, another one is not and is not happy about it. When one is getting attention, another one needs it and is letting us know. So, we press forward, my husband and I "pooling" our saneness when we can and supporting each other in every way.

Sometimes I feel that it is almost too much to expect everyone to ride in the car together or sit down to eat together. I know, though, that the days of togetherness are short because the kids are growing up quickly, so I fight for the "team" every chance I get. I fight for family outings, family dinners (with manners), family movies, and family devotions. As we give some of ourselves to become a team, we become part of something bigger than ourselves - our family. I believe in teamwork. My family will fight me because they are each becoming their own person and I want that, but I also want them to continue to learn to give a little (or sometimes a lot). Hopefully, we are finding a happy medium. Meanwhile, I hope I am not asking them to give up too much of themselves.

Along those lines, last weekend, we were desperate to get our kids out of the house. When we announced a family outing, our kids immediately started whining. We almost gave up, but we pressed forward, making (and I do mean MAKING - for one of them physically) them go to a local preserve to walk in the woods for a bit and see the beautiful boulders there. As we drove up, their complaining became very vocal. But, again, we pressed forward. To sum it up, we ended up having a very blessed time running around, climbing (smaller) boulders, and watching the "pros" climb the really big boulders.

Later that evening, we bought a "fire pit", ate supper around the fire and for a final touch, made s'mores in our backyard. It made for a memorable day. For the most part, they were cooperative (at least after the initial display of rebellion). And everyone enjoyed it and had a good time. AND, my fighting for the team turned out really well. After the kids wandered off their different ways that evening, my husband and I felt very warm outside AND in sitting around the fire, enjoying the cool evening and braving the smoke blowing in our faces. You, my dear reader, enjoy the pictures and have a good time in your family, fighting for the team!!

ADHD - Staring into space

2008-10-20T17:20:00.000-07:00

My #4 (who has ADHD), enlightened me during a recent car ride as to what he is doing while he is staring into space. He says he is looking for tiny differences in things from one day to the next. Gee, nice to know there really is something going on in his brain!! I always thought he was just "checking out" for a moment. When my kids share something that is such a profound look into their mind, I am always ecstatic!!! Especially right now with one child in the throes of adolescent change, I am comforted to know that in at least one of my children's minds, some little things make sense (at least to me). Anyone confused? Sorry!!!

Field Trip - Why I Go

2008-10-03T12:57:00.000-07:00

Every time field trip days are planned, I am among the first to respond. I almost feel that the children can't go without me. Each time, as the call goes out for chaperones, I ask my kids if they want me to go. They always do. And, if they want me there, I am going to be there. But, more than going for my kids, I get to meet other parents, talk to the teachers, and get a good picture of my child in and around school. I feel that it is important that I know as much as I can about their school experience. I feel that it makes me a better parent. Yes, I am fortunate to be able to go. I have no job to take off from. I could also have kids who are embarrassed to have me around. I am glad my kids want me there.

The Pain in My Heart

2008-10-02T05:43:00.000-07:00

Right now, there is this low-level pain in my heart. I feel it more deeply at some times than at others. But, it doesn't really go away. My child is being bullied. All last year, he was subjected to teasing and heckling everywhere he went at school. This year, although it continued, he chose to keep the horror of it from us. As he held it in, he became distant, cold, difficult and angry. Finally it all came rushing out. As it came out, the guy that I know and love began to return. He was back to hugging me and talking to me. He was willing to work more on his academics. He was not escaping so much with Legos and video games. But, for me, the pain was just beginning. Before I knew what was going on, I was angry at him and figured that he was going through that growing up thing that can really sideline some kids. I was a bit over the top with nagging him about his homework, lecturing him about all he was NOT doing, and trying to deal with a person I didn't know. Now, I am trying to love him and heal him from almost a year of this torture and help him learn to make it quit. I want him to deal with it himself, but mostly right now we are intervening by seeking the administration's help. I am grateful for these people who love kids and want to help. I just wish that we could have handled it ourselves. Mostly though, my mind is caught up with how to make it stop and the WHY of it all. Why would someone tease my child?!! He is (to me at least) handsome, charming, sweet, moral, and up until now, a hard working student. I don't deny that he is a "nerd". He is smart and likes to talk about what he knows. He is a bit awkward socially, a bit "aspergerian", although he does not have enough of these traits to be diagnosed. But, I don't think he stands out that much. But, when I have seen him at school, he seems to be not so different, but sort of in a bubble, socially speaking. One step behind, one comment too random, one too many weird sounds or funny ways of doing things. He knows he is different, but he is not willing to (or can't) conform in those tiny little things that everyone must conform in order to not stand out. So, here I am overanalyzing the difficulty and hoping things change for him. Last year, his one saving grace was that he loved his teachers and they, him. This year, if anything, the teachers are a negative. They are legalistic, strict, not encouraging, and sometimes taken to singling out kids to correct them in front of others. This child, who gets along with adults much better than peers, is not getting along with the adults either. Because of the pain he has endured, he is becoming prickly to everyone around him. So, my solution is to pray and to love. Mostly, though, it is to pray. I know I can't change things for him. Only God can do that. And only God can change him. Hey, maybe God can even change me in the process!!!

On We Grow, Learning What We Can....

2008-09-15T19:18:00.000-07:00

The school year has only just begun. The kids are doing well, but not exactly happy. I don't know how I feel. I feel that some of the time, I need the freedom and am enjoying it. Other times, I feel that I need to be with my kids and savor their time in my household. They seem so grown-up and very close to leaving my "nest". I know for a fact that one day I will be doing something else. I know that I am in a "training" or "holding pattern" for now. I am a minister to my children and "snatches" for other people such as my girls at church and the ESL students I teach on a volunteer basis.

As far as my children, I feel that my time with them is significant for what they teach me sometimes more than for what I teach them. But, I do hope that they are learning some skills that only maturity (NOT!!) or age can bring. One thing that seems to be a recurring theme is "Never, never, never give up!!" Also, I hope they learn that life is not necessarily supposed to be fun. I hope they learn that a lot of times, the fun you have is while you are doing something that is fulfilling, often hard or even back-breaking "work". That the times when you are happiest is when you are contributing to a bigger, greater good. For me, that is the most important piece of sage advice that I can pass on. I love them deeply, greatly and want they to be happy. But their happiness will have to play "second fiddle" to developing them as people. They MUST get this!! They can and they WILL!! And they must get that making others and God happy comes before pleasing their own flesh. And when they please others and God, they ultimately please themselves. That is TRUTH!!!

So, for now, they stay in school, working hard, learning all they can about themselves and others. They stay away from me 8-3 or so, and then the intense 3-8 time, I try my best to fit as much discipleship in as I can. I try to encourage them get some chores done, along with the (at times) loads of homework they have. I try to fit in family activities and a dinner together (not always). And there does seem to be time for pure, unadulterated FUN!!

Teacher Conferences

2008-09-12T06:20:00.000-07:00

I had a conference with #3s teachers yesterday. It is very hard to describe the emotion I felt leaving the meeting. The tears wanted to pour out of my eyes, but I held them back relishing the euphoric feeling that was coursing through my body. She is doing well!! She is achieving beyond what I could have wished for. She is amazing me and those who worked with her before. And all of this is so "out-of-character" for her.

To know how big this is for me, you have to know the background. This is a child that seemed to have a moderate learning disability that was almost across the board. The majority of her issues were in the areas of written expression, but she tested for learning disabilities also in math and reading. Not only that, but there were some behavior issues that I didn't think she would overcome easily. I thought we would always be afraid of how she was going to handle the next difficult thing that came her way. Because of how she reacted to certain things in the past, we (teachers, husband and I) tried very hard not to rock the boat. We tried to assess whether we could ask more of her. We were careful that she not be asked to "carry" too much. But, she is amazing me beyond belief with what she has been able to handle this year: rotating schedule, two lockers and combinations, seven teachers, keeping up with large amounts of homework, etc. And, she is HAPPY!!

I am blown away by God's faithfulness to me in caring for my child. I don't know if it is anything short of a miracle!!! Her reading, which at the end of last year was on a sixth-grade level, is now, in vocabulary and comprehension, post high school!!! Over the summer, she read voraciously and the best we could count, read about 20 books!! The books that she found very difficult during the school year last year were her "bread and butter" reading material during the latter part of the summer and now!! These are books she is "plowing" through quickly as we speak.

So, we are moving her into advanced reading (this for a child who didn't read until 3rd grade), and out of academic support (her elective where she gets help with homework) into a regular elective track where she will get to try the classes that the other kids are trying. Bottom line: she will get to have fun!!

She has also signed up for three clubs: scrapbooking, First Priority (a Christian club), and crochet/knitting. This was the child who didn't want to do anything extra last year!!! And despite the fact that she is "NOT!!! sporty" (her words), she is enjoying P.E. and having fun with it. To what do I attribute this success? Her finding the right combination of teachers, support at school, and help at home. And the hand of God in an awesome way to help her put all those pieces together in a way that cannot be explained by any other means.

Thanks God, for overwhelming me with your kindness. Words truly cannot express what I feel. I feel very small and worrisome and yet, you care about those things. You are loving me in a way that is beyond my expectations. I am not saying that there won't be further trials with this child, but you will help us through until we see the light at the end. Thanks God. Thanks.

I called the conference a couple of weeks ago because she was not happy: complaining, frustrated, and sad. I asked her to write down the things she didn't like about school in order of how bad they were. Here is her list:

1. Science is all in groups

2. Too much homework

3. Girls are mean

4. I have no friends in school except for a few.

5. Academic support is boring

6. U.S. Studies - too many quizzes

7. P.E. is hard because I'm not!!! sporty.

8. Language Arts is hard because of writing.

9. I hate Math!

Lots of these things have not changed, but she is handling them. She is dealing with school and doing much better about everything. Her "case manager" asked me to have her list 10 things she likes about school. So, we were walking one day and I asked her about doing that. She said that she didn't know if she could come up with 9, but she knew 7 right away. Her seven were her teachers!! She is willing to put up with the things she can't change because she is "feeling the love" from her teachers. She is "clicking" with them and they with her. Again, thanks be to God!!

Hippies, pregnant teachers and more

2008-09-08T17:33:00.000-07:00

This is an older post that I felt was pretty good. I didn't post it immediately....not sure why, but it seems good, looking back on it. I think it still applies. I hope you get something out of it. It makes me step back from the day-to-day struggles and see my kids for what they are: AWESOME! Of course we have our moments, but I thank God for giving me the grace to look above or around or beyond the craziness of the hard days to the great things He is teaching us (but mostly me). Ok, I will pipe down and let you read for yourself. Here it is:

When my kids were "wee ones" I never thought I would be discussing the things that we are discussing here lately and getting as "in depth" as we are!! We can no longer confine the conversation to the "pretty" or "sweet" side of life. There are lots of things about hippies that I would rather my kids not dwell on, such as drug use and "free love", but I do want them to know the truth, so we discuss these aspects (with some picking up more than others, of course). I also stressed that everyone that is called a hippie is not really a hippie. The next topic we covered is how sometimes pregnant teachers are grumpy because they are hormonal. That was a "mind-full" for the pre-pubescent or post-pubescent boys that I am raising, I am sure.....but it is true and I want them to know that those things are a part of life. I told them that they might not remember this, but when I was pregnant, I wasn't very nice to be around sometimes. I told them that sometimes at night, I would cry because I had taken how I felt out on my kids. That also was a lot of info for their minds. But, we can't live in the past when things are simple. Things are not so simple anymore. But, I wouldn't trade these days for those. They are just different. The kids are growing up. Their school days contain things that I wish they didn't, but, the kids are growing up to be people who (at least most of the time) filter what they think and what happens to them by what my husband, I, and even God says about it. And for that I am grateful. They aren't relying on "snotty-nosed kids" to tell them what's-what. That is huge!! For anyone with teens and tweens, that is so big and so wonderful that I can't even express it. So as they labor away with their mountains of homework, I sit here trying to express my pride in what they are becoming. And I pray for grace for the days ahead, which will no doubt be tougher than these are!!

More "perfect accessory" pictures

2008-09-01T13:14:00.000-07:00

One more "perfect" thing....

2008-09-01T09:50:00.000-07:00

The perfect playmate for a recently "displaced" two-year-old baby of one family is the older, wiser "baby" of another larger family!!!

The perfect accessory

2008-09-01T08:28:00.000-07:00

My sister is here to visit (or more realistically to flee the wrath of Gustav), along with my nephew and three week-old niece. I have decided that the perfect accessory to any human - adult or child- is a well-loved and cared-for baby!!!! My beautiful niece, has been the object of my obsession with picture-taking, along with the person who is holding her at the time. Here is the proof......

"Dear Friends, Let Us Love One Another...."

2008-08-15T10:55:00.000-07:00

Two of my very best friends here in town are Catholic. I am fine with that. However, in the past, I tried to ignore our differences. We all love God, we all want to serve Him, we all want our kids to be raised right and to love God as well. And because I love my friends, I tried to pretend that we all believed the same. For me, it was easy to talk about God with them, to share my struggles and pray with them or for them when they had struggles. In many ways, they are connected to me more than my Protestant friends. They like the same things I like. They appreciate my "job" more than people at my church. They are strongly "pro-life" just like me, cherish children and are supportive of bigger families. I find this refreshing in a culture where you are weird if you don't have those "1.2" children you are SUPPOSED to have. Also, I enjoy their company. They are funny, serious (when necessary), and focused on the same things I am. But, I have to admit, they believe differently than me. They are Catholic and I am not. I was not raised that way and have no intention of converting. I do respect their beliefs and don't ever want to "argue" or even "discuss" our differences. But, in learning more about Catholicism, I realize that there are some very real differences. And for me, it is a case of agreeing to disagree. I love them deeply and want to embrace our "likenesses" and not our differences. Hopefully they want the same thing. I believe that we can all three say the Apostle's Creed and believe every bit of it. I believe that all three of us know that it is our belief in God, confession of sin and just accepting Christ's sacrifice on the cross that "save" us.

So, there will be no more pretending. We can love each other with "eyes wide open", knowing that there are differences. We can give a little and focus on the things we have in common. And we can live a life of love as Christ asked us to. For my example, in the Bible, Christ loved people and didn't try to point out differences. He embraced all people. That is what we must do. One of my favorite scriptures is 1 John 4:7-8 (NIV)

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." And there is more of course about His sacrifice on the cross as proof of His love. (Read on when you have a chance.) The point is that I choose love!!! I hope you will too.

And now for a prayer, "God, I pray that I will love as you have loved me. I pray that my friends will sense that love and respond. I pray that you will help me to focus on the things we have in common, and remember that YOU put us together. You saw my needs (and maybe theirs) and put us together. There is such a warm feeling knowing that you, with your gentle, loving hand, placed us in each other's lives. Thank you Father, for the gift of my friends!!!

For a Visit

2008-08-14T07:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday as I drove through the neighborhood, I saw a lady who looked like she was out running only she was stopped on the sidewalk pointing ahead of her. I slowly rounded the corner and saw what she was looking at. Right ahead in a neighbor's yard were four deer - two female and two fawns!!! They were so beautiful and just gazing at us and the houses around them and occasionally eating grass. As I struggled to find my phone and erase enough pictures on it to have room to take one, the deer startled and bounded off into the trees. The day before, #1 and #4 said they had seen two baby deer while they were at school. Since the schools are so close to us, they share the common woods, trails, etc. that run from one to the other, I am almost positive that these are the same deer. We are adding to our list of animals spotted in and around our neighborhood. We have seen foxes, turkeys (mommys and babies) rabbits, (the usual) turtles, snakes, scorpions, a (dead) coyote, and now deer!! We love this little extra that seeing something like that adds to our day. But, sadly, we don't have a picture to share. Maybe next time.

The darling husband and I are walking at 5:00 A.M. several times a week, wishing to see some animals. But, maybe it is too dark or (more likely) we are too loud talking and laughing while we walk to see animals. Oh well, it is good for the health of our marriage and our bodies......

Sweet One Straight From the Heart of God

2008-08-10T20:27:00.000-07:00

Thought you would all like to see the new beautiful baby!!! S. (my sister) had her Friday on a lucky day 8-8-08!! She is gorgeous, looks like her mommy. She was 6 lb. 9 oz. (three weeks early) but healthy and too sweet for words!!! I was there in the delivery room when my sister had her fist baby (to be placed for adoption, a little girl, almost 13 years ago). Now God has been good and given her a little girl to bless her life!!! We love Meg and she is a part of our lives, but S. needed her very own little girl to love and care for. After getting married to a wonderful man in 2005 and having T.J. two years ago, this has brought it all full circle!! We are all so blessed!!! And I LOVE babies, can you tell?!!

Day 1

2008-08-08T05:25:00.000-07:00

The kids survived!!! The first day is always a little rough. Yesterday was no exception. My garage door broke and my car was inside, so my kids had to all ride the bus. That was fine except that the high school doesn't send a bus to our neighborhood. We live within walking distance to the back of campus. Anyway, his teacher offered to drive him home, saving me from borrowing a neighbor's car to go get him. Also, the two in middle school came home a little "bruised". They didn't find friends, yet. #3 had a hard time getting her locker open, but amazingly, ASKED FOR HELP several times!!! For her, this was major. And when she didn't know where her bus was, her one male teacher helped her find it and walked her to it!!! I was very proud of her. That was a good first day. #2, who had such a hard time last year came home and seemed okay, but was crying last night and this morning not wanting to go back. My heart was breaking as I sent him off. But, I walked them to the bus stop and his male hormones kicked in. Not wanting the other middle school kids to see him teary-eyed, he perked up and acted fine. So, I prayed and sent them on. That was all I could do. God will be with them. I know that!! And they have to learn to stand on their own two feet. Besides, school does teach them responsibility and independence and all kids need that. So, as much as I wanted to keep them home and hug them a little more I put them on the bus and felt relieved that they were, at least, putting on a good front for their friends.

School

2008-08-06T19:24:00.001-07:00

So, the kids return to school tomorrow. Public school for the second year. I was not sure I wanted to do that again. It is easier than planning the year myself and taking complete responsibility for their education. I am no longer so brave. However, in some ways, I have to trust God more than I did when we home-schooled. I have to pray more not knowing what they face or who they are with or what they are teaching them. I hope it brings me closer to God. Of course, as a Christian, I hope all circumstances bring me closer to God. As I go to bed tonight, it is with prayers for their well-being. I want them to be okay, happy, loved, and confident, but most of all, I want them to live their lives to let others see who God is. I want for them to pass on their faith to others. That is my deepest hope. I want others to see a difference in my children. I can only pray that happens. For my kids: "The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."

Friends from Asia

2008-07-28T05:19:00.001-07:00

This weekend, the day we got home from Yellowstone, some friends came into town. We were longing to see them and despite the laundry, the unpacking, the lack of food in the house, we were so excited that they were here. They live in Asia, you see. We met them at the University where we attended - never mind how many years ago. We traveled with them, celebrated holidays together, enjoyed getting to know another culture. They are now leading lives very different from our own on the other side of the world, but the definite connection is still there. In my heart, there is a place for H. and C. and even their kids that can never be filled. They are like family in a lot of ways. We had a wonderful weekend with them and their beautiful daughters. We shared memories, shopped, talked, ate, and attended church together. The weekend went all too fast and they were gone to their next stop before flying home. I figured that it was at least 12 years since we had seen them. That was way too long!! There were long years where we lost touch, not knowing exactly where they were. I searched the internet, e-mailed anyone I thought might have contact, but to no avail. Katrina (the storm) brought us together as H. began searching for news of my family to see how everyone was after the storm. Hopefully, we will see them regularly from now on. They plan to visit the U.S. more often and we plan to visit their country. We pray blessings on them and their family as they carry on with their lives. We send them away again, hoping for time later. If not here, then in heaven!!!

More Pictures

2008-07-27T15:55:00.000-07:00

Just one of the beautiful peaks in the Grand Tetons.

One of the wonderful spots to photograph in Yellowstone.
This is our coyote. He looked rather gnarly and hungry. I didn't want to meet him on the road.
The red fox we saw right in the Village near the General Store.
My honey fishing.
Just one of the many elk that we saw. This was a younger bull, but we saw many with full antlers about 6 feet across!!!! We also saw many herds complete with some babies.

Yellowstone

2008-07-27T15:25:00.001-07:00

There are not many places that two days after you get home, you are longing to go back. This is how Yellowstone is, though!!! We had such a great time. We saw many, many animals, lots of interesting people and everywhere you look, beautiful, wonderful vistas. I almost cry looking at the pictures because there is a longing to be there, to see the sights, to breathe in the fresh air.

The whole time, we were on an animal chase. We went to great lengths to see as many wild animals as we could. The last afternoon, we got so many new sightings, we were amazed when we look back on it.

We had seen hoofed animals all week - elk by great numbers, bison in herds and alone, deer, maybe a moose or two, and on horseback some pronghorn antelope. The sight of a bear eluded us for days. We went up north in the park especially to see bear. Still no bear. But the last evening, there was a small, cinnamon spotted black bear right by the roadside!!! He or she was so beautiful and so close that we could have almost touched it. It was feeding on a rotting tree and the grubs there, oblivious to the humans around it. It came alongside our van and then crossed the road in front sending the people in the road scattering to get away. After that, as "icing on the cake", we saw a coyote, and lastly right in Old Faithful Village where we were staying, a red fox!! We were so excited to see the bear, but seeing all of these in one afternoon, we were well beyond excited!!

There is no describing the feeling of seeing God's beautiful handiwork, so spread out for us to see, everywhere we looked, 360 degrees. The "thermal wonders" are also magnificent, but seeing all of this in one park goes beyond what I can describe. I have tried, but until you are there, you just don't know how it is. Let's just say, if you have a "bucket list", this is a must-see addition.

Alas, there is pain in going to such a special place, and that is in coming home. We knew that this was a special trip that was well worth the work and time put in planning it, but that is was also a trip that wouldn't be repeated for a while and probably never again with all four kids. But enjoy it we did!!

The Puzzle

2008-07-18T07:29:00.001-07:00

This puzzle was meant to give me something to do with #1 during the summer. He loves elephants and I thought we could do the puzzle and "puzzle-save it" and put it up in his room. It started out everyone working on it, but at the end, it was me gnashing my teeth to finish it. It was HARD and time-consuming. Even the self-proclaimed "puzzle genius" (#3) gave up. I was so glad to get it done!!! And it is sooooo beautiful!!!

Early Morning Walk

2008-07-14T19:21:00.000-07:00

Just a couple of pictures that #4 and I took on one of our early morning walks.

Summer, part 3

2008-07-14T18:56:00.000-07:00

Summer is winding down. Even with all the activity and arguing and extra work, I long for this to go on. The kids can stay up and enjoy extra outside play time, movies with the family, read-alouds, games, and time with us. And I like them being here. I rest better at night, feel more comfortable during the day, and like the extra time they spend with each other discovering new ways to make things. They seem more relaxed and I am too. But in three more weeks, summer will be over and we will be rediscovering what it means to get used to getting up on a schedule, coping with homework, and getting to know the new school situations. I feel hopeful that at least for #2 and #4, it will be pretty easy and a smaller adjustment. For the other two, not so sure. They will be changing schools. The big exciting news is that the teacher we loved so much for #3 will have #4 - for two years!! I am looking forward to working with her again and letting her work her magic on his stubborn personality and brilliant mind. We have kept up with her during the summer and are just thrilled to have her continue on "Team K."!!! There are other people I got to know last year that I will enjoy seeing again. The administrators (especially a couple special friends), the instructional support teacher that #3 had last year and this year will be working with #4, and some (a few) of the other moms that volunteer at the schools. I also look forward to the new teacher #1 will have and what the bigger, more challenging environment will do for him. So, if we can make it through the next six weeks, I will feel a lot more comfortable with what lies ahead for the rest of the year.

My Brother's Departure

2008-06-29T18:29:00.000-07:00

As we prepare for my brother and his family to return to the mission-field, I am feeling very glum and reflecting on their time here in our town. It has been 11 years since we have been in the same town for a whole year and we have missed them.

Our kids never really knew each other, but they have bonded. The "cousins" are a great addition to our lives. Previously, the times #3 and M.'s #1 have been together have been for short trips and quick family gatherings. For this year, "the girls" were so totally in each others' lives, that they had their own ongoing games, their own "language", their own way of pretending, infinite sharing of books, and no - absolutely NO arguments. Whatever their differences, the girls somehow find their own world where they agree on almost everything and enjoy each other's company so completely that no one else matters unless that someone is trying to separate them.

For the boys on the other hand (speaking of my #4 and M.'s #2) they are hardly together on anything. They can't agree on how to spend their time, what game to play or how to play it. They irritate each other to the nth degree, but they have added to each others' lives. They have taught each other the value of difference, but they never really figured out how to overcome them or give in enough to get along. They have, despite their differences, enjoyed each other in some weird way and longed for each other. It was just usually always a trial for the adult(s) caring for them.

So for me, the change will be in two ways. First, knowing that my brother (when he wasn't traveling), was only a couple of miles away. There was comfort in that. Second, for the change it will mean for my girl. I weep for myself, but mostly for her. She so bonded with her cousin that it will mean a sad change for her. So, when the church had M. up for blessing and prayer this morning, I was the only one weeping. "M n M" feel very relieved to be going to where they "belong", to the place where God has called them. The kids are oblivious, at least for the moment. But I am sad. So I weep. I am sure that there are those who understand, but they are not immediately around me.

This week, as they stay with us to prepare to leave, I determine to enjoy their company. I promise to not think of the future and what it holds. I will simply take deep breaths and stay calm, savoring the moments with them and the kids (even those of the two little boys arguing).

Adding a little to the last post

2008-06-28T19:19:00.000-07:00

Just one more little thought - As I have said, we do what we can to recycle and reduce, but Ted's Montana Grill (IMO) takes it a little far.....paper straws?!!!! I mean, come on!!!!

Wall-E

2008-06-28T07:58:00.000-07:00

Cute movie.....but why, oh why does every little kid movie have to have SO much social commentary. We know, we are FAT, LAZY, and put out a lot of TRASH!!! We are dumb, but haven't forgotten how to read YET. Can't movies just be fun, funny and even poignant, but not feel like a slap in the face.....

Ok, my "take home" is to do what you can....we recycle, try to not buy things we don't need or won't use, and we do turn off electronics for a good portion of the day (at least during the school year). My kids read, two of them LOVE to read. They are smart, verbal and think for themselves. I can do better, maybe......

My review is two stars....cute, but could have been better.

Tent Camping with the Experts

2008-06-25T11:15:00.000-07:00

This is us with our friends from TN. We had fun camping for one night at a state park about midway between the two. We LOVE the W's!!! I actually can't wait to do this again. J. was nervous the whole time that it would rain and I wouldn't have fun (I have some horrible memories of camping all the way to Maine - "a la" raining so much that everything floated, leaving the tent flap open and our bedding getting wet, vomiting in the tent, etc.) The W's have all the equipment and are experts backpackers, campers and LOVE hiking. We were kind of "along for the ride".......

Scavenger Hunt

2008-06-25T11:10:00.000-07:00

This picture was for a scavenger hunt for our church. We tie-dyed the shirts (the kids wanted the letters added but that was a little "Laverne and Shirley-ish"). We got extra points for having our Bibles. No one really had fun but me!!!

The Three "I's"

2008-06-25T11:06:00.001-07:00

This is a picture I have been trying to get for about a year since the baby "I" was born. I found it very cool to have them all in this picture. We went with "big I" on a mission trip in 2006 to Honduras. They all go to our church and the "big I" and "baby I"'s parents are friends, but getting "my I" in was a challenge.....

Uninspired

2008-06-25T10:18:00.000-07:00

So, as summer drags on and the kids are home and we are doing puzzles, reading, (#2) clarinet, (#1) zoo volunteer, (#3) elimination diet, and (#1,2, and 4) pool, I am feeling busy, but not so busy, bored, but not bored, never in a routine (which I like routine), and uninspired. I feel that I wish my kids wanted to get out more as all the errands I run are "quickly to the store" and back or "to the zoo" (to drop off #1) and back. They never want to go anywhere other than the places I have already mentioned. And, what is missing? My friends. I was able to crop at least once a month and see friends at least twice a week. I am trying to get inspired to clean up, but everything just gets messed up so quickly. Ho hum.....

We started a new read-aloud last night. We haven't read aloud regularly for several months. I kept trying to start one and they found it boring. I hope we can complete this one. And complete the huge, hard elephant puzzle that is scattered all over my coffee table. I hope I can get re-inspired to clean out my closet and maybe hubby's too. I hope I can get the gumption to give away some stuff. These are my goals for myself. I am convinced that is better than setting goals for kids that they don't want to accomplish. Anyone reading this post? Say a prayer for me.....

Oh, and what I really need is a "mom's night out" and maybe someone to scrapbook with. Anyone up for that?

Plum Jelly

2008-06-14T14:18:00.001-07:00

For some odd reason, I decided to make a batch of plum jelly. Here is how it went down.

1. #3 and I go to a farmer's market at a local church about 30 minutes before it closes.

2. All the produce was sold out except blueberries and a sack of plums.

3. I offer to buy the plums and the older couple selling them give me a good deal on a BUNCH of plums.

4. I get home and wonder what I have gotten myself into, but realize there is very little I could do with this many plums before they spoil, so I decide to make jelly.

5. I go to buy the supplies and realize that jelly-making supplies (except for jars) are NOT sold at suburban discount stores and that jelly-making requires some basic supplies like a canner, a pair of "jar tongs" to remove the jars, etc.

6. I press ahead because as you have guessed, I STILL have a large bag of plums and nothing else to do with them, plus I think that it will give the kids something constructive to do.

7. So, I buy jars, sure-jell and sugar (lots of sugar).

8. #3, #4 and I make one batch of plum jelly that turns out "plum" well!!!

9. I have juice left, so I refrigerate the rest for the next day.

10. I finish out the rest of the juice with darling husband and kids helping me.

11. Batch #2 doesn't turn out quite as well (doesn't jell), but out of that bag of plums, we got 27 jars (half-pints) of plum jelly - well, actually 9 of which is more like syrup than jelly.

12. We are happy to be done with the jelly making and swear we will never do that again as it is a LOT of work. However, as you have probably guessed, I am proud of our handiwork and jelly-making is a little like having a baby, when you see the fruit of your labor, you sigh and say, "Maybe it wasn't SO bad."

Scary, huh?!!!

Fun Puzzle

2008-06-08T16:33:00.001-07:00

For me, summer is about keeping the kids reading, playing, swimming, inviting friends over, anything to keep them out of trouble and off the Wii!!! So, I found this little puzzle that is very fun. The kids and I (and even my hubby) are always arguing over it. We love it!!!

I miss you, my friends

2008-06-02T19:20:00.000-07:00

This school year while the kids were in school was a great time for me to connect with a couple really great friends. I had time for those women and they had time for me. We bonded over and became addicted to "too sour" diet lemonade and walks in the mall. I took our "dates" for granted and now they won't happen for at least a few weeks. I miss them, both Mrs. G. and my friend S. I miss that S. always has some comfort for my "headaches" and I enjoy comforting her at times. We are so much alike. We struggle with some of the same things. And, I am afraid, I took her for granted. Now, I won't be able to see her very much for the summer weeks.

Mrs. G. was my friend who always has something wise to say. She is fun and always lends an air of culture to everything she touches. Alas, she also is busy for the summer traveling. I miss them both. I am sure I will make it, but I need them. When summer is over, I am sure S. will be as anxious as me for our walking and (mostly) talking to resume. But, when summer is over, my time with Mrs. G. will be limited as she lives in India for the winter of every year. Some time or another, our threesome will be back together. We will enjoy catching up. I am sure we will pick up pretty much where we left off. That is how friends are. Thank God for friends!!!

Cobb Lane

2008-05-31T14:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, I admit it....the world of Birmingham has indeed passed me by. In the three years that we have lived here, I had never been to Cobb Lane until today. It was charming. There is a lot of other words that I could use, but not many that fit it so well. My friend M. has been wanting to take me there for a while and since this is my birthday month, now is as good a time as any. The lane itself is very quaint, cobblestone. The courtyard is very shaded, restful, and overhanging with greenery. The food was "fairy"-fare with a little rustic, southern charm mixed in. The waiter was from the "west coast" (which doesn't mean California) and was maybe a little too talkative, but very full of dry humor and fun. And being the naive person I am, I never quite knew when he was kidding and when he wasn't. I must say, the company was great as well....

Thanks, M. for a perfectly lovely luncheon (can I call it that?) in a magical setting.

Normal - What IS Normal

2008-05-29T15:22:00.000-07:00

For me "normal" is having my kids close to me. Letting them have some freedom, having them help me cook, clean and talking to them about lots of stuff. Normal is also "read-alouds", quiet time, and a certain amount of electronics (video games being the most obvious electronics in our house). Normal for summer is also spending a lot of time swimming (for me sitting by the pool watching kids), lots of projects, camp for the younger ones, and some amount of boredom for the kids which leads the younger two to create, play imaginary games, and spend time outside and even some TV thrown in there.

I grew up in a "not so normal" family with a teacher for a mom and a preacher for a dad. We didn't have a TV until I was in high school and then it was black and white and basically just to play Atari. So, as a younger child, during the summer, we played outside and mostly read. That was basically it. We went on one great two-week vacation every year and of course I went to camp every year. Other than that, we just hung out. So, what is normal or is there a normal?

Just wondering......anyone willing to weigh in?

A Poem and a Prayer

2008-05-26T13:56:00.000-07:00

I weep....

because I have four children so loved.
because I have four special children.
because I want them to fulfill their dreams.
because I am overwhelmed with how to get there.
because of my child who will be hindered from his dreams.
because of my child who doesn't dare to dream or dare to share them.
because of my child whose dreams are laughed at.
because of my child whose dreams are too little.
because I know the uniqueness of each child gives them the place they have in our family and in the world.

God,

Please help me to champion the cause of the dreams in my children. Please help me to encourage them, to give to them in a way that will help them fulfill their dreams.

Progression

2008-05-23T10:25:00.003-07:00

Neat progression:

More than 15 years ago, we visit friends in Dallas that had just moved in. Friend is out looking for a job.
Friend has no answering machine, so we take a message about a job with a satellite company.
Friend (using our directions, etc.) goes on the interview.
Friend gets a job as sales rep in the Far East for the satellite company.
Friend does very well.
Friend's company gets bought out.
Friend gets some stock and shortly after that leaves to go on his own.
Friend builds a factory and starts making product.
Friend again does very well and now has two factories, one of which his wife runs that makes plastics, also has three beautiful daughters.
I am thankful that God used me to in some minute way to help this friend. But, as I told him, he had to be the one to take that job and run with it. I feel so grateful to be a part of this whole progression!!!

Community

2008-05-23T04:10:00.001-07:00

Last night, #2 went to a birthday party for two little 13-year-old girls. We had the hardest time finding out how he got invited. He didn't recognize either of their names and after looking them up in his yearbook, didn't really recognize either of their faces. So he decided to go as this was a good opportunity to meet people, get to know others and "hang out". Before the day rolled around, I realized that I knew (but not well) one of the moms. So, I asked her if she invited my son because she knew me, but she said she really didn't know how he got on the list. She said she thought it must be the other little girl that invited him as she is very social and probably "invited the whole 7th grade".

So, he went last night. This was his first girl/boy party since the days of say, kindergarten. When I got there, I went to talk to the mom. That is when it all came together!! After we talked the first time about the invitation, This mom asked her daughter about my son. Turns out the daughter knew him and HAD invited him. She met him on the bus and thought he was a nice kid. But, there is more.... She had seen him being teased at the beginning of the year and was concerned, so the mom contacted the principal and the daughter (despite her shy nature) was called in and made the principal aware of what was going on. I knew that all this had happened, but the girl that went to bat for my son was a nameless, faceless "good samaritan". Now, it makes #2 and I feel very warm that a shy little girl that we don't even know stood up for him when he was being teased. And it feels even better because after a hard year, the perfect ending is to feel that we are a part of a community - part of a place, of schools, but more than that, part of people's lives!!!

Stuff

2008-05-22T13:08:00.000-07:00

My guy with Mrs. S

There is almost no way to explain the myriad of emotions that this one day has held for me. I am over-stimulated, over-tired, over-wrought, and full of thoughts that I can't stop. Today was my fifth-grader's graduation, the last day of of our first year of public school, the (last minute) meeting for my youngest (and third child to receive "services") to determine eligibility and sign his IEP. I was already on an emotional roller-coaster leaving these people who have been in our lives for 9 months, then we finally got the test results back from #4 and that started a whole new journey. I knew he was smart, had issues with getting his thought down, and was lagging in reading. What I didn't know was that he is more than just "smart", but way behind in written expression. Also, his reading although on grade level, is considered a gap because of his intelligence. So, we start the rushed, souped-up version of an eligibility meeting and IEP in one. There is only so much I can say about this, but just know that I am trying not to hash it over any more than is necessary.

So we start the summer. And more than ever before, I am faced with keeping them (and me) sane all day, keeping them focused on some chores (these have really fallen behind during the school year), and keeping them stimulated mentally. So, let's see how we live up to that TALL ORDER!!

I am also taking deep breaths, thinking of bubble baths, naps and mostly trying to enjoy my time with them. Sigh.......

Sad, but grateful

2008-05-18T20:05:00.000-07:00

So, this is our first time to say "good-bye" to teachers - goodbye to those who have been such an integral part of our lives for 9 months. I am very sad to think that these special people might exit our lives and we might never see them again. I am very grateful to them for the year of teaching and caring and filling my kids lives and minds. I feel huge amounts of gratitude for them and their love for their students and their craft. I am in awe of them and their ability to do this year after year with small pay and little thanks.

I remember when I would go back "home" and shop at this one store, I would sometimes see my first grade teacher "Mrs. Japp" (one of only two really GREAT teachers that I had) and I would love talking to her as an adult and remember that she liked me, was nice to me, and took an interest in me.

Will it be like that for my kids? Will they see their teachers one day and connect with them and remember what they did for them? I hope so. I hope that we see them around town. I hope we can keep a little line of communication going. I hope that those four really special people in our lives - for #1 - Ms. B, for #2 - many but especially Mrs. H, for #3 Mrs. V and for #4 Mrs. S - know how much they helped us, how much they inspired, and how much they encouraged them each to do their best, shine their brightest, and achieve what they could. I love them for it!!!

And for next year, I look forward to meeting some other special people and getting the chance to get to know others. I am only hoping that there are other teachers out there who care like these did and want to be a source of encouragement to my kids.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! It can never be said enough.....

Memories from Band Concert

2008-05-13T05:39:00.000-07:00

Last night was my middle-schooler's band concert. At the last minute I invited my brother to come. It was very fun. He commented about getting up and dancing when the jazz band played "Twist and Shout". I told him if he did, I would have to blog it because he would embarrass

me. He said, "You are threatening me with publicity?" I laughed.

What you might not know about my brother is that he likes publicity, but enjoys sometimes "flying low". It is a strange combination.

I find we are all a little like that. We don't want to seem like we like attention and don't want to crave it, but we enjoy a little bit being "known". The awesome thing for me right now -(I don't always remember this - but right now it is so clear) I am remembering who knows us the best, loves us the most and HE is the most important "being" in the universe. It is great to be known by HIM. It is great to be loved by HIM. This kind of "knowing", though, makes you feel incredibly small... and that is a great feeling, too!!! He knows us inside, outside, upside down!!! He loves us more than anyone else ever could!!! Just ask HIM to reveal himself to you and reveal yourself to you. That's right, HE knows you better than you know yourself......

Other memories from last night- having all the kids together enjoying one child's moment (no one detracting by bad behavior or being bratty), going out to eat at 9:00 at night and having no ice and my husband having to order over and over as what he ordered was always out (so many times that it got very funny), the kids enjoying each other and us, tiny middle-schooler in a tux with a "too-big" jacket (very cute!!), the drumline from the high school (black lights and all), the music - how fun!!!

You get the picture. Yesterday was a VERY full day. I got the kids off for school (harder than normal), met some friends, drove to "small town" 100 miles away and back by 3:00, Did homework, got the oil changed in the car, got everyone ready for the concert (alone), got to the school 45 minutes early, waited, enjoyed the concert, went to eat, rushed home to fall into bed at 10:00. Exhausted!!! And there was a lot in the middle there, like listening to one of my favorite people speak (my friend and "sage"), connecting with God deeply (emotionally), driving and talking to my friends in the car - LONG DAY.....

Our Families

2008-05-07T06:10:00.000-07:00

These are from Christmas, but the more I think about it, the more thankful I am for our families, and that we could all get together for a picture. I love to look at our big, beautiful families and enjoy all the different people and personalities!!! I appreciate everyone giving a little (or a lot) to get together....

Clean

2008-05-03T05:48:00.000-07:00

This is for my friend S...........and because I have almost NEVER seen it this clean!!!!

Next year

2008-05-02T05:24:00.000-07:00

Middle school is a tough place to be these days. The kids are mean to each other, the teachers are doing their best, some are doing better than others at inspiring the kids, helping them learn. But it is a place where my child (#2) has not yet found "his place". So I worry about his self-esteem, his view of his place in the world. I worry that he won't recover easily from this horrid place he has to go to every day. He is becoming more and more someone I don't know. The kid who likes to talk has become someone who is scared of saying anything in front of other people.

He is making it, though. He is somehow surviving. I see that he has a bright future despite what he is told about himself during school hours. I try to convey that to him, but he is doubtful right now. He needs to find his spot on the planet.

I am not saying he is not "odd". He likes Legos still. He is in 7th grade and still wants to be a little boy. He is innocent in some ways. He is learning, though, sadly to be someone who might could be mean back.

He doesn't want to believe me when I tell him what he truly IS. I am just "dumb Mom", you know. He doesn't want to give his best when everyone else is skating by. He wants to shut down and curl up in a ball and "survive". But I can see so much better for him. I want him to see himself as God sees him. He is a pretty wonderful kid and we have much to be thankful for.

Next year, #2 and #3 will be in this environment. They will both be subjected to the mean, vile side of youth. The atmosphere in our house will likely change forever. I have to remind them right now to be nice to each other. What will it be like then? I can only hope and pray........

Field Day

2008-04-26T13:16:00.000-07:00

So Friday was field day. Now field day when we were growing up was three-legged races, relays, "Red Rover", and other simple minimal games. Field day nowadays has gone fancy - complete with blow-ups (otherwise called moonwalks, obstacles course and wind tunnels), chalk and face painting, jazz band from the high school, DJ and dancing, Karate instruction, oh yeah, and soccer, playground time, and other more simple activities.

I had a good time, though. I loved seeing my two younger kids interacting with their friends or just playing the games, watching them dance the little dances they had learned, and I enjoyed talking to the teachers and other staff. It was fun to see the teachers having a good time, too.

Being with my kids at school means I see a whole 'nother side to them. I sometimes am in wonder of their adjustment to this world that I am basically not a part of. They are interacting with kids they only met this year, but acting like they have grown up together.

My girl's teacher had invited the parents and I am glad she did. I had a good time and I felt that I was the one who got the education that day. I learned a little more about the world of my kids.

#3 is not a problem at school. I always knew that but she is happy, going with the flow, staying out of the limelight and flying under the radar. She has friends, but they are not "joined at the hip" like some girls her age. She is not like at home when every negative thing has the potential to send her into orbit. She more easily lets things go.

#4 is finally VERY comfortable, and for him comfort is being a leader, bossing (sometimes), telling others what to do. He is friends with his previous "archenemy". He has backed off on the one friend who was his one and only friend exclusive friend in the beginning of the year. He has branched out and integrated. He still says he doesn't like school, but I have my doubts that this is really true. I think he is enjoying it more than he lets on. I see him having fun. I think he has experienced some social success and is proud of that. There have been so many "bumps" along the way for him and the journey is not over, but he is flying more smoothly.

The school itself is a good place for them, right now. I feel comfortable with my decision to send them to school. At times, the "upkeep" (homework, studying, reading logs, etc.) seems more even than doing it all myself, but their experiences are more broad, more balanced with academics and friends. We were very lonely before school. We have integrated more into the community where we live, and that has been a good thing. I know more people and feel more comfortable with living here. So, this has made the move better, and after almost three years here, I am more at home.